They've Found Me Out

This is accurate.

What American accent do you have?
Created by Xavier on Memegen.net

Western. Like Midland, Western is another accent that people consider neutral. So, you might not actually be from the Western half of the country, but you definitely sound like it.

Take this quiz now - it's easy!

We're going to start with "cot" and "caught." When you say those words do they sound the same or different?

Same Different Same, no wait I mean different, maybe, a little bit different...

found at Tinkerty Tonk

Tuesday Trash Day

Where to go from there?

Welcome to more mundane details of my daily life. I don't actually have anything in particular to post about, but that has never stopped me before. The first thing I thought this morning as my mind stirred was, "what am I supposed to be doing today?" Well, I couldn't think of anything in particular, but I had this nagging feeling I was supposed to be doing something.

Then it hit me: today is trash day. But that wasn't it. I already put the trash can on the curb last night. I only actually remember trash day on Mondays, I have to stay one day ahead of myself, or I will definitely forget.

This post will not be long because there is nothing exciting happening today other than cleaning, and goodness knows I've written long and hard about that and that is probably the reason only a few people actually read this site on a regular basis. I can be proud in the knowledge that they are indeed people I wouldn't mind sitting down for a cup of coffee with though, so that is nice.

I finally remembered that my sister and I had something planned for today. A little get out of town thing. We never have a day off together, so on those rare days we try to do something together. I called her up, and I'm not kidding you, this is how the phone call went.

"Hey"

"Hey"

"Do you still want to do that thing?" I ask.

"Do you?" She asks.

"I don't know, I do if you want to." I reply.

"Well, I want to if you want to." She replies.

"Hmm, well, I want you to decide, what do you think?" I ask.

"(sigh) I don't know, on one hand I have the money, on the other hand I could just not do anything and still have the money." She's starting to make a decision.

"Yeah, I know that feeling. I could just keep the money. I need to pay tuition soon anyway.
Want to just do it another time?" I ask.

"yeah, I could do either way. Mom has donuts, you should come over and have a donut." She offers.

"Mmmm donuts." I say, sounding fat.

"All right, I will come over and get a donut, it will nice to be see mom, unless you just want to come over and hang out while I clean." I add.

"I can do that I guess." She says knowing darn well she's not going to help me clean, and that she will end up going to take a nap on my bed.

"No, I will just come over and get a donut, and we can decide from there." Thinking I could take my cup of coffee with me to drink while I eat the donut.

"All right. See you in a little while." She says sounding glad that she doesn't have to come over and hang out with me while I clean.

I'm going to eat a donut. Be back later.

I Don't Like To Say This

Don't Ask Me.

What if I was to say what I really think about any and every thing? What would happen? These are the questions that make me feel like a big old coward because some things are just too unpleasant to say, or even think for that matter.

So, I can't say things like, I think the problem in Iraq is that the opposition has not been sufficiently crushed into submission, and I think the only way to do that is to bomb the place until they beg us to stop. I can't say that. It sounds so cruel, what a horrible thing to suggest. It is in so many ways acknowledging that the deaths of innocent civilians is the one thing that will break the will of the insurgents and draw them out into the open, and out of their protective hiding behind the people there. No politician would ever dare say such a thing, perhaps most sane people would not say such a thing, it is certainly not an option I hear discussed on the nightly news--ever. I don't think anyone could stomach such an option, and therein lies the problem.

I'm no history buff, but what little I do know of wars, they aren't won by holding hands and making friends. More troops la la la. It is obvious to me that I do not understand this war at all. Perhaps it is not a war? I don't know what it is, but I don't think they, nor many others are falling for it.

Goodness, what am I saying? This is crazy talk. I'm just a normal person, I have no answers. I believe one thing, the politicians screwed up this whole thing. The troops were practically set up for failure. They deserve better.

All the crazy talk aside, and that is what it is. I can honestly say, I don't understand the war in Iraq. I simply don't get it, and that is why I reserve opinion on the subject 99% of the time. I really don't have the stomach for this waffling about, but then again, this is a rather unconventional war. It is probably best not to try and view it as something so cut and dry. Can I just admit I don't know what to think? Because I really don't. And it is not because I haven't been paying attention, or that I'm too busy watching reality t.v. because I quit that stuff cold turkey a long time ago.

And you know what? I don't think I am alone in this. I think quite a lot of people don't know what to make of things either. I will say this, the absolutely wrong thing to do now would be to cut and run, that would be a huge mistake. We have to see this through, and completely change tactics.

Now, would you prefer I stick to blogging about house cleaning and laundry? Because right now that seems a lot easier to tackle.

The Old Dogs

Learning New Tricks.

Since I don't really want to be the second most hated person in the neighborhood, I've been working with the dogs trying to get them to learn that it is not necessary to bark at each and every soul that passes our fence. It was going so great, I would go outside with them, and every time they started to bark, I would say, "NO Barking!" and they would miraculously understand this and come running, and more importantly, stop barking.

I was just bragging to my friend on the phone tonight about the great strides we were making with our training, and low and behold those varmints made the biggest liar out of me. They started barking and doing their thing while I sat out there with them. "Hold on a sec" I told my friend, "Let me get this." I called them. They ignored me. I did it again, they ignored me. "Oooh, just you wait, I'm going in to get my shoes!" I had to go get my shoes because the weeds are so horrible--thistle, I couldn't go out there in the yard without them, and since they were ignoring me I had to go out there and chase them up to the patio where I could scold them.

All the while my neighbors across the way were watching my futile attempts to shut them up, and my friend is hearing all of it from the phone, AND the dang dogs were barking like maniacs. It was so humiliating. Finally, I got them to move away from the fence and stop their yapping, but it was too late. We are back to square one here. I just have to get them under control. I'll tell you this, I'm no Cesar Milan that's for sure.

Now, I have to admit, they were doing good at first. They did great for the first temptation, two girls walking by. They barely so much as moved. They started to, but I said, "No, come here." and they did fine with that test. Then two boys on bikes rode by, they did fine. Then two more, and the dogs did great. But then it was as if every kid in the neighborhood gathered up the street and had a meeting to discuss why those dogs didn't bark at them, and so to test their theory, all of them, the two girls, the 4 boys on bikes passed by again all at once and it was all over for us. The dogs went and did their thing running back and forth along the fence, and barking, barking, barking, and I just got embarrassed.

And I wouldn't be surprised if miss Perfect over there wasn't video taping the whole thing to show the authorities.

It is discouraging, but I will keep trying. I don't have much choice really, I'm too attached to them, to give them away, there is no way some snotty retiree is going to come between me and my dogs. I feel safer having them around when hubby isn't home. So, either I solve this barking problem, or continue to be the second most hated person in the neighborhood. Hmm. I'm starting to think I can live with that latter option. Nooo, I'm just kidding. I know we can train them to behave better, it just might take longer than an episode of the Dog Whisperer.

I Should Be Cleaning

Let 'em eat cake.

All right, I know I should be cleaning. I can easily look around and see that, and I will eventually get around to doing a household chore at some point today. It will probably happen sometime around four o'clock this afternoon when I finally start feeling the crunch to get something done before the sun goes down, and after I have had a nap.

There, I started a load of laundry, happy now? I registered for school yesterday. I'm taking 11 credit hours. I keep telling myself, although I have doubts, "Just keep going." And that is what I am going to do. I will just not entertain the little voices telling me it is too hard, or that I can't do it, and I will just keep going, one semester at a time. I reached the awful conclusion that by the time I finish, I will be over 40 years old. This did not sit well with me at all. I imagined myself at 40 sitting down for an interview for an entry level position in my field and competing against a bunch of 24 year olds, and I got scared. Then I started to feel dumb, and wonder if I should bother.

Then I started thinking, so what? Just keep going. So, I will. Now, I just have to come up with the money for tuition and books. One semester at a time. Prepare for emotional upheaval as I juggle homeschooling, school, work, and laundry. My family is spoiled. They are not used to me delegating chores out, but I am going to have to if I am going to do this, and the truth is, I should have put some fire under some butts a long time ago. I'm tired of doing all of the housework. I know those darn dogs could do more to help out around here. Sure, they are experts at cleaning out the cat box, but I need more than that. Those cats can fold laundry if they really tried and worked together.

All right, enough kookiness for one post.

We Are The Second Most Hated People In The Neighborhood

Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride.

What do you do when you have a retiree who does a lot of porch sitting and staring, and your house just happens to be the general direction a certain retiree happens to be staring all the time? Since the retiree has plenty of time to stare, she also has plenty of time to watch each and everything that you, your kid, and your dogs do, and by circumstance has more than enough time to make judgements.

The other day, as the daughter, her friend and I worked on the side of the house, the side which is in perfect view of the aforementioned retiree, the kids, as children will do, noticed we had an audience. This unnerved them a bit as kids have generally been taught that staring is rude. I told them not to pay the audience any mind, that we pretty much feel like performing monkeys every time we go out there and we shouldn't worry about it. They managed to ignore it.

Here is the thing, one whole side of our house and yard borders one of the busier thoroughfares in the neighborhood. It is not an extremely busy street, but just one of the main streets through here. Since we live on the corner, one whole side of our back yard runs along this busy street. She lives across the street and her house faces ours in such a way that she has total view of not only our whole front yard, but a whole side of the back yard as well.

We have dogs. We have two dogs who hate with a passion the fact that people have the nerve to walk past their fence, the fence that runs along the busy side of the street. People walk by this side of our house and yard all the time, it is humanly impossible for me to know when someone is going to venture past. I can't put my dogs out without them barking their fool heads off at someone. It just never stops. So, I keep them in most of the time, but I do have to let them out to potty, and when I do, inevitably someone will walk by, maybe even with their own dogs, and this will cause my dogs to bark. I have even seen my dog in the middle of dropping a turd start running to that fence he is that determined to get the message out.

Combine the actions of my silly, but granted annoying dogs, and the unfettered staring and you've got a recipe for neighborhood strife. My neighbor behind us, who actually does like us, and our dogs told me last night that some people are talking about my dogs barking too much. I asked who, but she wouldn't say, so I said, "is it those people?" and pointed in the direction of their house. She didn't answer, but her body language said it all. She said, "I'm just telling you, don't take it personal, just do something about it."

"What can I do?" I asked. "I call them in when they bark, I really try to keep them quiet, but they can't help their instinct to guard their territory.'' I can't run out the door every time they bark, it is not like I leave them out there for hours on end. We are talking minutes here, I have literally been sitting on the toilet and heard them start barking. So, I am in a situation with a woman who has nothing better to do than sit on her front porch and stare in my general direction and take notes every time my dogs bark on any given day.

I got a little miffed about it because I feel sort of like we have this big yard, but my dogs can't ever go out because if they bark at strangers walking by, my neighbor is going to report us, and that will cost us a lot of money in fines and fees, and our dogs could be taken away. It is not like they are barking at cars, or the wind, they feel provoked when someone walks by, especially if they have dogs with them. I told her "this is unbelievable, we've got a junk yard across the street, yet they go over and hang out and visit with him, but we're the trash in the neighborhood because our dogs bark at people."

"Oh no", she assured me, "people are more upset about the junk yard." So, I guess I can be glad that we are only the second most hated people in the neighborhood. That makes me feel so much better. I don't know what to do. I guess I will just have to be more vigilant, but I feel like flipping her off the next time I'm outside watering my grass and see her staring over here. I won't though. I also won't get rid of my dogs, although I will be even more careful about them barking.

When I Was A Kid

I Was An Ugly Duckling.

When I was a little girl, I thought I was the ugliest thing ever. I had stringy brown hair, and a fat little body. I started putting on weight when I entered puberty, and that is when the name calling began. Pretty much any name to describe a fat animal has been attributed to me, for example, piglet, hippo, elephant, buffalo butt and so on. There was this horrible boy who called me blubber butt all through grade school.

For some reason in Jr. High I had a reprieve from most of the name calling. Most likely it was the strategy for survival in the Jr. High I went to, it was about avoiding getting your butt kicked, by talking a sufficient amount of crap to make the more aggressive kids look for an easier target, and not appearing an easy victim. I think in Jr. High, my size was actually to my benefit because I would have been hard to conquer. Of course there were bigger, and most definitely meaner girls, luckily, most of them had taken a liking to me, and left me alone.

In Jr. High I was truly afraid of the other kids. I had seen groups of kids surround and bully the weaker kids. I somehow figured out how to be invisible, or at least mysterious enough to be left alone, except in 7th grade when this one particular girl made my life a living hell when she threatened to beat up my friend and I almost every single day. I should have had a clue that she was all talk and no action, but at that age I spent most of my time asking myself, "is this the day she is going to actually kick my ass?" She moved at the end of the year. My friend and I were so relieved. The rest of the tour of Jr. High was a lot less scary.

So back to me being an ugly kid. It was about Jr. High that the kids started forming those little relationships. We called it "going together." Of course, no boy wanted to be seen within 10 feet of a fat girl like me, and as a young teen this was disheartening. I cried to my mom, no boys like me, I'm fat and ugly.

Of course she disagreed, but I would not hear it. That is not what I had been told by all of the other kids, and what did mom know anyway? She was my mom, obviously she wouldn't tell me the truth of how ugly I was. I think my mother sensed this kink in my logic, and she decided to tell me a story. She said, "I went to school with a girl who was overweight, she thought no man would ever love her, but when she grew up she ended up meeting the most wonderful AND handsome man, and they got married because he loved her for her inner beauty and I think that is what is going to happen for you."

All of those years going through school and having barely any boys at all so much as give me a glance I kept that in mind. I just knew some day a wonderful and handsome man was going to fall in love with me, and I with him, and we would get married and have babies and live happily ever after. And you know what? My mom was totally and completely right in everything she said, and I think the girl she described was herself, and she knew it would happen for me too.

I married a wonderful and handsome man, who I went to Jr. High and grade school with ironically enough. I can't think of any man in my life who has ever been, or ever would be more dedicated to me. Life is sweet sometimes.

I'm still fat. Fatter than I would like to be. I don't think I am the ugliest woman alive any more, but I could stand to lose some weight. This is for my daughter who is not fat or ugly, but because I want her to know that no matter what anyone says about you, there is always someone out there who will disagree.

Doing Absolutely Nothing

I Need A Nap.

My gosh I am completely uninspired today. I've done absolutely nothing, I didn't even take a nap, which would be doing something. No, all I have done today is read blogs, and fiddle fart around the house. I did spend some time braiding the hair of my daughter's friend, that took a while to do, but other than that I have no idea where the day has gone.

The phone rang when I did go to take a nap, so I ended up talking on the phone instead. Other than eating a sandwich for both lunch, and dinner, I've done nothing else but sip on iced tea, and occasionally hit up the fridge for a handful of seedless red grapes.

I did realize something today though, my blog is boring. I could go into detail as to how I reached this epiphany, but it is not really that important. I can't complain really, and I am not. I just think it is sort of funny how I've used this space to figure out how boring my life really is.

I'm not dissatisfied necessarily. It is just, well, sometimes boring is a good thing even if it is a bit monotonous. What else is there to do? I know, I could figure out something.

Oh it will all change next month. I will start school again. I will be too busy to be bored then. I picked out my classes today. I don't know how I am going to pay for them, but I'm just going to go ahead and do it and pay as I go. I only have to come up with half of the tuition initially.

Politics Schmolitics

Boring.

I will bore you now. A few years ago I became almost obsessed with politics, like a lot of people after 9-11, I was suddenly aware that things weren't what they seemed. Now, I was not completely in the dark pre-911, but I was happily living oblivious to some of the things that were going on in the world.

I have always been a conservative, and even voted for Bush Sr. my first time. I haven't voted in every election since, but I plan to vote in the rest of them from here on out. I watched the CCN--typo, I really want to leave it, it looks more accurate and reminds me of the Soviets--I mean, the CNN-You Tube debate with the Dems last night, I didn't see the whole thing so perhaps this was addressed prior to our tuning in, but I want to know why oh why these people were not pressed, pinned and tied down on WHO exactly they plan to have pay for their commie socialized medicine programs! Because I have a sinking feeling it will be my husband and I, and I am not happy with that prospect at all.

Now, I caught this interview with Michael Moore on Hardball with Chris Matthews who wasn't fooling us at all with the soft balls he was pitching. All right, I admit it, I was slumming yesterday. Fox News kept talking about that stupid NBA ref scandal, which is beyond boring because I TOTALLY do not care about the story at ALL. So, I caught myself flipping over, and there he was, Michael Moore, being interviewed.

All right, so I wanted to hear what he had to say because it frightens me how many people swallow his ideas, which really aren't originally his ideas at all, but there are literally probably millions of people out there who have no clue what exactly he is trying to do which is turn us into a bunch of commies like himself. You see, he readily admits that he has good health insurance, but he wants everyone to have it too, but not in a competitive market place, but run by the government which is absolutely the stupidest thing I have ever heard of.

He uses the argument with his opponents, that, "do you think the soldiers should have free health care, and if so, why don't you want everyone to have that?" Oh Gosh! Someone brought up Walter Reed, and he responded that it is not that the government messed it up, but the administration overseeing it. The point that should have been made, but was lost is how inept the military health care system is compared to the civilian system. Don't get me wrong, it is much better than CUBA I am sure, and there are loopholes in place that will allow the savvy recipients of military health care to get out and actually be seen by providers in the civilian community, which is a far cry better than what the Cuban peasantry are stuck with. They have no choices, at all.

And another bone I have to pick with this question of soldiers receiving "free" health care, they EARN the BENEFIT by their service, work, blood, sweat and tears. It is a system somewhat different than the insurance we can purchase through our employers, but the requirement is the same: that one must work--be employed--to get it.

Don't get me wrong on this, there are a lot of great, talented, and skilled people working in medical in the military. One with no health problems of any particularly serious nature can get by quite well with more than adequate care. However, a lot of mistakes are made, and the quality of services, facilities, and care are serious problems that exist widely within that system--too widely. I realize that mistakes can happen anywhere, but I'm here to tell you, things are not great within the military health system. It is not a shining example of socialized medicine, but I think it is representative of what we will get were we to be foolish enough to let the purveyors of such great institutions as the DMV, and the IRS take over our health care.

I spent over 10 years as a military dependent using that system. I've heard many tales, and experienced my own. I will NEVER support a candidate that wants to give me more of that good ole government run health care. Never. I would rather my tax money go to pay for health insurance for the poor than hand over the greatest health care system in the world to those dick heads in Washington.

I Should Mention

I found that adorable story about the hippo below at Cute Overload.

I tried to put the link in the post with the video, but I kept messing it all up because I am dumb about these things, but I want to be polite and mention it. I have to visit Cute Overload every time I get on the computer. It is one of my favorite places on the web.

It is nothing to sit down and kill three hours reading blogs. There are some really great ones out there. I try to keep my blog roll updated, and visit the sites mentioned there as often as possible.

Anyway. I just wanted to mention that.

Cannot Resist

This Is Sooooo Humiliating

The American House Pet

I Love You Mommy

You Will Get Me Salmon

Happenings

Stuff.

It is so hot here lately. We broke 100 the last two days in a row, and it was in the upper 90's prior to that. Hot and dry, hot and dry. I long for the sound of rain, for the feel of it in the air. I know it is completely pointless to complain about the weather, but I can't help it, my grass is dying and that is frustrating. I water every evening, it does no good. I got up this morning it was in the 90's already, my grass was bone dry. It was so hot, I almost felt like the grass could just go up in flames. My yard looks absolutely horrible. Oh well, there are worse things I guess.

Everything is wilted. Thank goodness for the little window a/c we have downstairs. I spent most of the afternoon downstairs because it was the only place to cool off. I actually watched t.v. I rarely watch t.v. other than Fox News in the morning before work. There was nothing on at all.

The good thing about this dry air is it cools down nicely in the evening as soon as the sun starts to creep over the mountains I start to come to life. That is when I want to be outside. I probably shouldn't be such a willing victim for the mosquitoes, we have had cases of West Nile here, but I can't help it. I take my chances. They are bothersome, but they are not too awful bad because it has been so darn dry, so water hasn't been able to pool up many places, like in the numerous tires across the street in the junk yard for instance.

Of course, I can't complain, we've got a messed up truck on the side of our house that sometimes has a pool of water in the bed. Update: I have still received nothing from the insurance companies of the people who hit me. Nothing. I can't talk about it. Perhaps one day someone will do something honorable and compensate me for the truck that worked fine until their drivers smashed it up. We're going on 2 years now.

Nothing much else going on other than my cat is starting to talk to me, in English! He sat down next to me this morning, I looked at him and said, "Hi." and he said it right back. Really. No one believes me. They don't believe I saw a bear either, but I did. I see an insane cat lady in my future.

Ooh, I got a facial the other day. I had no idea what I've been missing out on all these years. It was pure heaven. I laid there ever so relaxed, and the lady put all this wonderful stuff on my skin. I don't know what it was because I kept dozing off. I would hear myself snore and then wake up a little, and then do it again. It was kind of embarrassing, but I was really just enjoying being pampered so elegantly. Afterwards, I felt beautiful, my skin was absolutely glowing. I didn't even have any make up on, and I looked great, and refreshed. I highly recommend experiencing this decadence. It was so good I started thinking about quitting college, and going to school to do facials, but then I thought people might think I am wishy washy (and I really am) and stop taking me seriously (nobody really takes me seriously anyway).

No, I will stick with my plan, although, I think I would like to do facials, I guess I could just do it for fun with my friends, and probably would be satisfied with that. It is just that they have so many neat gadgets and gizmos to make it that much better. It could be a plan B, I suppose. What am I saying? I'm too old for plan B's. I've got to get my stuff together, and stop waffling about all this stuff.

All right, enough random thoughts for one day. Take my advice: go and try this thing if you have never done it before. Good times.

I am going to take a cold shower and go to bed. Night.

Suggestions, Advice And Words of Wisdom

Decisions.

I started a post the other day about some big decisions I have been mulling over lately. The first part of it was whether I should quit my job and go to school full-time, or go to school and work. I think for now I have decided to continue on working part-time and attempt a full schedule this fall. Knowing my life, this will take a lot of really good time management on my part, and basically I will probably get worn out, but I think it can be done. Whatever, it is pretty much decided for now.

The big thing, and most important decision is whether we should go ahead and home school our daughter or not. I have been working that one over in my mind for quite some time, and I think the time has finally come for us to poop or get off the pot. My husband is more reluctant about it than I, but I have read much more about it, and talked much more about it for much longer, so I am much more confident in the idea than he is, BUT he has come around and I didn't think he would ever do that. Honey, it is time. We can't wait any more for something to happen.

We have got to do this ourselves. I am ready to give it a go. Man, I can't believe how much negative feedback I have got on this idea. Our daughter knows this is coming. We were talking about this long before the school year ended, she was begging us at the end of the year to homeschool. So many people have responded in such a negative way, when my daughter or I say to them, "We are going to home school next year" they get this look on their face of sheer disapproval, and they say, "Why would you want to do that?!?"

Then I tell them, "Well, we have given the school(s) 7 years to educate our child, and they haven't done it, I would at least like to send my daughter off into the world knowing that she can read a newspaper and balance her check book, I don't think that is too much to ask, and she is not going to get it at school, I have no choice." That is the nice answer. I shouldn't explain, it is not their business anyway. My neighbor got really offended when she heard, but she works at a school, so I dare say she is a bit biased. She told me she would talk to me about it later. I haven't seen her since, I know she will have something to say, but it is not her business or decision.

She'll probably tell me it takes a village, and she needs "socialization!!!!!!" And I will laugh and say, "Yes, I think it is really important that my daughter be told she is stupid and dumb everyday for the next 7 years, while she is passed off and shuffled through until she graduates a bona fide illiterate." No dammit. We tried that. For 7 years she has been put through that hell, I refuse to subject her to it any longer. They get her all day, taking her energy, sending her here and there wasting time on foolishness, I get her after school when she is exhausted, angry, and frustrated. I can't work with that.

When your kid tells you, "Everyone says I'm stupid and dumb, and I am, Mom." You had better perk up and listen. I can't do it any longer. I can't sit back and hope it will work out, that she is just a late bloomer or something. I can't bury my head in the sand any longer. I have got to take action NOW. So that is what I am going to do.

I am scared as heck to do it. I can't even begin to describe my fear of failure about this, but I can't be a coward and blame the school, or the teachers, or communism, or anyone else at the end of the day because I am her mother, and I love her, and they don't. Therefore, I am ultimately responsible for her education, and her well-being.

For all of the negative comments, I've probably received just as many affirmations, and many offers of help. I have a curriculum in mind we will start with, my sister in law is using it with her daughter with great success.

I had her take the tests today. We will order soon. We will start slow. We will have to get into a groove. I am getting excited about it. I welcome any suggestions, resources, advice on this with much appreciation. I truly believe she will flourish studying at home.

The Worm in The Seed

Bitter.

The title has absolutely nothing to do with this post. It just came to me because I am eating sunflower seeds, and I got a bitter one, as children we always thought meant it had a worm in it, it could be true I guess. What are you going to do huh? I just chew it up and eat another one as fast as I can to get the bad taste out of my mouth. The other day a bug flew into my mouth while I was walking into work, I actually started hacking to get it out, I spit it out as fast as I could, but still felt like there might be some wings or little hairy legs stuck on the back of my tongue until I got to the bathroom and swished my mouth out.

Hey, it is life, we are bound to eat a bug some time or another. I suppose that is much better than my dad's usual recommendation that, "You've got to eat a pound of dirt to grow up." I don't know where on earth he got that notion, but he did have three kids, and I only have one, so I guess experience may vary. On the other hand, if what he says is true, then the fact that I am actually grown up must mean that I have indeed eaten a pound of dirt, and I'm all right. Aren't I?

On to more pressing matters. My neighbors. Now for the most part they are all right, but there is this fairly new family to the neighborhood, they've been here a oh say almost a year now. In that whole time, they have barely so much as waved, or even smiled in our general direction, but I see them all the time talking to every one else around, just not us, ever. I can't figure this out, but they are older, retirement age, and maybe they feel no need to talk to us because we are much younger than they are. That just doesn't seem to fit though, everyone around is younger than they are except Junk Yard man, and they talk to the other people--they practically hang out with the junk yard guy.

We have another set of neighbors which are particularly unfriendly towards us, and probably everyone else for that matter. My husband found this out the difficult way when he ventured over to say hello one day, and was received with a bit of a chill. I later found out that a relative of ours actually owes that man some money, so that pretty much explained his attitude problem, but it had nothing to do with us at all. Anyway, we pretty much ignore them altogether because they have Issues that have nothing to do with us.

Back to the older couple. Now she is a German lady, I told you I can't spit without hitting a German, and I see her everyday, she's outside almost as much as I am. And it really cracks me up when she yells at her little shit chihuahua with her heavy accent and thick voice, but she never says hello, but she does stare an awful lot at us. I don't pay her much mind, but I got to thinking what is their problem? Then it dawned on me.

A few months after they moved in, we got a complaint from the Humane Society about our dogs barking. Normally, we are really good about calling them in when they start barking their fool heads off, but one day, ONE DAY, we didn't get to it because we were tied up inside the house while the kid was at school--you do the math. Someone made a complaint, we got a "warning." No one had ever complained about our dogs before. I wondered if it was those people. I don't really care if it was, but it was a weasel shit thing to do to complain to someone else over one day, but anyway, it might not have been them. I don't know.

After we got the complaint, every time the dogs barked I had to immediately call them in the house, but I always made sure to yell at them to knock it off before someone calls the police and we get a complaint about them barking, because that is the sort of passive aggressive witch I CAN be. One day, my neighbor who lives behind us asked me what all that business was all about and I told him someone complained about our dogs barking. He was shocked. I said, "I wonder if it was those people?" and pointed towards their house. He said, "I don't think they would do that, it was probably Bob, he hates dogs, particularly those of your dogs breed."

I didn't think it was Bob at the time because Bob lives too far away, and it happened during hours he would normally be at work and not thinking about my stupid dogs. Besides, he would have done it a long time ago most likely. Anyway, my neighbor said, "Your dogs don't bark that much, only when kids run along the fence, and they taunt the dogs a lot." Of course that doesn't matter, although the lady at the Humane Society did tell me that whoever wishes to pursue a complaint beyond a warning must produced video tape evidence that our dogs are just barking like fools for no reason at all.

Anyway, we have been extremely cautious, even though we were already pretty darned good about getting the dogs if they start barking, and we haven't had any more problems, but it just made me wonder today when I went outside and she did her usual, Ignorrrring, I'm Ignorrring you thing, although she can't help but stare, which is what she usually does, unfettered staring seems to be her thing.

I waved and said hello when they first moved in, they were not particularly friendly, I think I might just start saying HI again and waving just to see what happens. Maybe we can thaw that icy chill out some, who knows? Maybe she thinks we are drug dealers because we have so much company all the time. Ironically, that is what lived in that house before her, at least that's what we thought he was anyway.

Heh heh, time to take off my bra and go water the lawn. Hahahaha! Just kidding. That was bad, but I'm leaving it. But I am going to water the grass.

Big Decisions

Must Hash This Out.

I'm sure most normal well adjusted people don't hash out their big decisions on their personal blogs, but I never once claimed to be a normal well adjusted person so I guess it would be all right for me to do it. I'm not exactly sure how I could describe myself, but I would say I come somewhere close to normal, probably so normal, I might even be described as boring. Although there is that temper of mine which has caused me a bit of trouble here and there, but it is usually just a result of my running off at the mouth as I tend to do when I feel all indignant about something. My mom always said I should be a lawyer, but I'm too honest for that. Apologies to the honest lawyers out there, I'm sure you both understand that I am not speaking of you here.

Anyway, I'm running off at the fingertips here and I'm not anywhere close to making a point yet, which now that I think about it is pretty much the case with most of my posts so I guess I could say I am indeed right on point. For about the last month and a half I have completely racked my brains trying figure out how I am going to go to school full-time this next semester, see to my daughter's education and the possibility of home schooling, and keep my job, house, and family in relative cleanliness. I have played out every scenario I could come up with, repeated the ideas to my husband, friends, family and pets, and still I cannot commit to a decision.

Hubby, bless his heart, says, "Quit your job and go to school full-time." Now, I know he remembers how incredibly difficult it was for me to find this job back when I found it, after having been unemployed, and searching for work, I promised myself like Scarlett O'hara that I would never go without work again, even though she just swore to never be hungry again, it is the same sort of thing although I am being a complete drama queen because my situation was nothing like hers at all, but I just liked the movie so much I wanted to refer to it, and make a mental note to myself to read that book once and for all because I have wanted to for quite a long time. She did say that right? I don't know it's been so long since I've seen the movie, I might not even have that right.

Let's move on, so hubby said quit my job, and believe me it is a valid idea, BUT I am so darn afraid to be unemployed. I'm telling you it is a dreadful feeling, and I am afraid of getting into a bind financially although hubby makes good money, I'm just scared and I want to get over it. So, I'm have spent countless hours examining, and re-examining in my mind our finances, and our financial needs, and have reached the conclusion that there really should be no reason that we can't live on his income, BUT we have to be really careful and that means no more spontaneous spending, which for goodness sakes if we can live on a Corporal's pay, should be no darn problem at all.

I remember the days where our daughter was just a little bitty baby, and he was a young Corporal in the Marine Corps, and on the first and the fifteenth of every month, I would go to the commisary and buy groceries and diapers for 2 weeks, pay the rest of our bills, and announce to hubby when he got home that "we only have $40 for the next two weeks for gas." And we did that for like two years! That is back before the baby knew anything at all about Wal-Mart, and therefore was not constantly picking our pocket at the store wanting this, and wanting that.

So, I'm thinking if I were to make that leap and quit my job I suppose we could change his withholding on his paycheck so we can keep more of the money he makes, and I could take out loans for school. I do feel somewhat of a sense of urgency to get through school asap. I'm not getting any younger you see, and well, I'm ready for a career change. It is a huge decision, one I'm not taking lightly at all.

I think I've finally decided to just go ahead and keep my job, and go to school. I will just have to really manage my time like crazy, it is either that or manage our money like crazy, and that is just no fun. That is basically what it boils down to. Lists, that's what I will need. Lots of lists assigning things to be done by people. Things which I normally do. I will bribe my daughter with an allowance. Yes. It will be a good lesson for her too, she can learn to be more responsible, and the joy of earning money by working. This is brilliant, I should have thought of this before. My goodness, I've been doing way too much around this house for way too long.

All right we will see how this works. I feel relieved. I've been tossing this around in my mind for such a long time.

A Beautiful Day In The 'Hood

Neighbor Stuff.

Today I met the German on the right. She was out watering her lawn. I rarely see this one, in fact, in almost a year I've only waved hello, and had very short polite conversations with her. Last night we had a horrible wind storm, and I found a mysterious trash can in my front lawn. I asked her if she was missing a trash can, and pointed to it, I had set it on the curb in case its owner came looking for it. It was in fact her trash can so that worked out quite well I should say.

We got to chatting a bit about the storm and the weather, and she told me we were making nice improvements on the house. We talked about the weeds, and so on. Then she said, "I'm not doing any home improvements to this house because we have such a pig living across the street! I would just be throwing the money down the drain!" I knew exactly what house she was referring to. She went on to say, "When we moved her in 1979 this was such a nice neighborhood, now I am embarrassed to bring people over to my house, the whole neighborhood looks bad." Which sort of made me feel bad, but then I thought, she probably was not referring to us, she's had only nice things to say to about us.

Here is the thing, the guy across the street is running his own personal junk yard. His yard is a mess, he's got junk all over the place. People come over and they say, "You should report him, he's going to drive down your property value!" I know this might sound strange, but I personally don't care what he is doing over there as long as he is not burying bodies in his back yard, I'm not all that concerned. I say, "no, I won't report him, I would rather have good relations with my neighbors, and as long as he isn't throwing the junk across the street, I don't have much of an issue with him." He did build a privacy fence which helped to hide some of the mess, and believe me it is a horrendous mess over there.

He's got an insane amount of junk out there. All he does all day is tinker around with crap, and fiddle fart around with stuff. He's got old pick ups, one of those trailers that looks like a silver Coors can, wood and lumber piles, just an enormous amount of junk really, but it is his personal property, and I just can't get the gumption to worry about it too much.

Well it bothered her, and I understand why. I didn't say anything, all I said was, "well it looks so much better now that he put the privacy fence up, you can't see it as much." That was it. I was not about to get into this feud. After we talked I started looking around our own property, I suddenly felt maybe I better do some general clean up around the place. So, I did just that. I don't want to be the one she says brought the neighborhood down. I did tell her she has a beautiful home, and I'm certain it would sell well should she want to sell it.

We don't have covenants in this neighborhood, and I'm glad about it. I would rather live with a junk yard across the street than a nosy neighbor peeking in my windows to make sure I have the proper curtains hanging, or receiving nasty grams when someone parks in front of my house, even if I didn't have anyone at my house. I can't live with that kind of thing. We do our best to make our house look good inside and out. We have spent many hours outside this summer working on the yard, fixing things up. That is the best we can do, and over all I think it is really shaping up nicely. I'm pretty proud of it.

If the time ever comes that we have to sell this house, I'm sure that a nice up and coming family will want to buy it. This is a neighborhood with chain link fences, we are not going to attract high enders here. That's a fact, and a junk yard will probably not matter one way or the other, but I could be wrong. Maybe we were the suckers who bought here.

Personally, I love this neighborhood. It is established, the trees are mature, and I like that all of the houses do not look the same even though there are only a handful of different models. I like how people have done their yards, and how everyone has done something different, to their own tastes. Some of the houses look like total crap, oh well, life isn't perfect. There is a house around the corner with the most enormous juniper bush in the front yard. It literally encompasses the whole yard, it is quite a sight, I hate juniper by the way. I think it is awful stuff.

This neighborhood is far from perfect, and I'm sure some people would not want to live here at all. I find it a wonderful place to come home to. I sure would love one of those fancy new houses with the huge kitchens, and master bedrooms, but right now this is what we have, and we are trying to make it as nice as possible so that our neighbors aren't embarrassed to live next door to us. I wish he would clean up that mess across the street, but I'm not going to lose sleep over it either, it is what it is.

Tomorrow: Yard work! Daughter and her friend, who is the daughter of my best friend since third grade, have already told me to get them up early, they are excited about our project which is to remove extremely annoying thorny, and ugly bushes from the side of the house. It will be a tedious and scratchy job, but we will get it done as best we can.

Things That Have Been Happening

And I Might Need To Take A Nap Soon.

There is no denying it, I love a good nap, and I've been thinking about taking one now for the last half hour. First, I will write this post.

Last night my friend called me and told me that she and her kids were out on an evening drive when all of a sudden there was an explosion in her car. She frantically pulled over to find that some grade A jerk off had thrown a lit firecracker through her open window. It landed in her back seat just inches away from her daughter and exploded. She's not sure what kind of firework it was, but it was so loud she thought her car blew up. Her kids were terrified, and they were all shaken up horribly. Her daughter could have been burned.

She got her senses back together and drove to the police station to report the crime. There was nothing much they could do, but they took the information, and checked to see if any other reports had come in, none had.

What sort of a little creep thinks this is a fun thing to do? It is a bitter reminder that normal decent people have to share the world with low life scum. Thankfully none of them were injured, or burned, but her kids were very upset about it, and I doubt they will want to ride with their windows down again enjoying the fresh summer evening air.

Why just the other day some homeless looking crack head spit at her car window in the parking lot at Wal-mart. He decided that the girls were looking at him, and said, "What the fuck are you looking at?" right before he hocked a big nasty one in their general direction. It was my friend, her daughter and my daughter that the big strong man was afraid were "looking" at him. I'm sure he probably wouldn't have done that to a man, but to a woman and two pre-teens I guess he felt emboldened.

Of course, it would only be right that such an act would result in being beat to a pulp by any lookers on, but no, that would result in charges being filed, and good people being sent to jail for giving the dirty bum a much needed lesson. Our only hope is to call the police who will arrive when they darn well get around to it, and bozo boy will at most get two hots and a cot until he cuts a deal with the D.A. and is released into greater society at large where he can continue on in his anti-social deviant behavior at best, and hopefully not attacking and harming anyone who dares to "look" at him again at the very least.

On that note, I'm going to take a nap with my cat. It is one of life's simple pleasures. Get 'em when you can.

I Will Pee On Your Christmas Tree

Don't let his extremely cute photogenic nature fool you. He is a deviant that likes to pee on things.

People Keep Telling Me Things

But I Keep Forgetting.

People tell me all the time, "You can put that on your blog." I usually say, "I just might do that!" Unfortunately my memory is not as good as it used to be and I can never recall these things when I want to which is the case right now of course.

All I can think of right now is how cute my dogs are when I say to them, "Toby can has cheezburger?" "Carly, can has cheezburger?" And I say it with this indescribable voice that makes them tilt their heads when they hear it. Of course I'm referring to that website, now I should link to it, but I'm feeling lazy, and I have it on my blog roll thingy just to the right there.

Other people have heard me say it because I say it over and over once I start, and they have asked me what the heck I'm going on about, I've tried to explain it, but it is best just to visit the site. Anyway, it doesn't work as good on the cats, they seem completely indifferent to the English language. They know the sound of the garage door opening though.

Poor deprived babies, they think going out in the garage is an adventure. They are indoor cats so they have no clue that the garage is just an extremely messy extension of the actual house. I guess the smell of the lawn mower makes it a much more interesting place to them. They go out there and sniff around for hours sometimes, the fat one does this funny thing where he sniffs with his mouth open as if his nostrils just can't take in all of the scents at once. I get tired of trying to call them back in only to have them ignore me so sometimes I just shut the door and walk away. Later that day I will hear one of them trying to turn the door knob, and crying to be let back in. I'm not kidding, they actually jump up and try to open the door. I hear their little paws on it.

I have no idea what they do out there all of that time, but there is plenty of junk and boxes for them to sniff at and most likely pee in. I guess we'll find out at Christmas when I get ye olde artificial tree out and it smells like piss. My husband will be really ticked. I'm hoping they are not actually peeing on stuff out there, I was only joking about it, but I wouldn't put it past them. They have done it before, which really really makes hubby mad, and I don't blame him one bit. That is why he gets so annoyed when I let them go out there, but I do it because of the guilt I feel for keeping them indoors all the time even though I know it is best for them, but they sure do come running when I open that door so they must like to go out there.

Now I bet people are wondering how many more posts I can get from the subject of cat piss. I haven't even mentioned how my mom's insane cat likes to pee in the potted plants. A thing that doesn't really bother my mom that much since she doesn't really even like plants, they are my dad's plants any way, and all he is thinking about right now is his future retirement. The woman was a nurse for over 30 years, I don't think much gets to her anymore.

My mother has become more and more stubborn about her ways although she denies this is true. I was amazed the other day when she called me over to help her clean out some of her cabinets in her kitchen. I've been trying to do that for years, but she would never let me. I was even more shocked when we ended up with 2 garbage bags of cool whip container lids, and various ancient tupperware dishes. My grandmother died in 1978, and some of that stuff was hers. I dare say that even plastic seems to have a shelf life.

Why now? I don't really know, but she did want me to fill the empty space with her new plastic containers with nifty red lids. I was glad to see she had new plastic containers, not that the cool whip and butter tubs of days gone by had not done a proper job of storing left overs, but even they wear out after numerous trips through the dishwasher, and mom just doesn't buy cool whip like she used to. So we did that, and it was fun for the most part, as long as I didn't venture into territories that she deemed off limits. She mentioned she had other stuff she wants to do next time, and I was to leave certain things for next time.

Unfortunately, I lost the battle on the gigantic stack of pie tins. I was not to throw those out under no uncertain terms. I obeyed my mother. She says she uses them to reheat left overs in the OVEN. In the OVEN people. She's always been a patient person I can say.

I suppose that is enough blathering for one night. Forgive my abrupt end to this titillating piece of writing, but I'm plum tuckered out and must go to bed immediately and snore extremely loudly. I will be back soon.

Happy Independence Day

Late.

The Fourth went off with a bang around here. We had a BBQ. What else should we do? Everyone wore patriotic colors because if we are anything at all, it is patriotic. We celebrated it in a truly American fashion with an abundance of food, and drink of the non-alcoholic variety. Hubby had a 6 pack of beer, but other than that everyone was happy with soda, water, or tea.

Of course people who don't have freedom would have seen our display of food as decadent and over indulgent, but I saw it as nothing more than a result of the wonderful bounty that freedom has brought to this country. It was nothing more than patriotic.

We shot off firecrackers in the driveway the way all good Americans should, and our neighbors did the same. No one around here whined about whether they were legal or illegal, it didn't matter, they were pretty and went boom. The neighborhood was cracking until well past 11:00 PM, and no one seemed the least bit bothered by it. Although, I would have stopped at 10:00 out of politeness for the neighbors. We were done by 9:30 anyway.

The rest of the lemmings in town probably went to the government sanctioned fire works displays, which are always nice, but the idea of independence sort of takes a back seat when the gov. tells you that you can't burn a friggin sparkler in your own darn driveway. I was glad to see that there is still at least a hint of rebel colonists in some of us.

It just takes common sense here people. Something those city council members who outlawed firecrackers seem to think us dumb hooligans have none of. Common sense says, don't let your kids shoot them off without your supervision, someone over the age of say 16 should be lighting them, don't point them at other people, and for goodness sakes be responsible with the mini explosive devices. Don't start any fires. What is so hard about that?

Goodness it is a wonder that we are allowed to even have backyard grills anymore. Every time I heard a firecracker last night it made my little shriveled heart sing, at least fireworks are legal where we live. We don't have a city council, and I'm glad about that.

Hope you had a good day too.

No One Believes Me

But It Is True.

I saw a bear. In the wild, well, not in the wild exactly, but in a neatly groomed suburb of the wild. It was a wild bear though. I've never seen a free bear. I've never seen a bear just out on its own with no bars, or cages involved.

And nobody believes me, but I really did see it. It was a fleeting moment before it ran off into someone's bushes, but it was there.

Waiting For Hubby

Might Be An Interesting Post, Might Not, You've Got A 50/50 Chance Here.

Hubby should be here some time in the middle of the night. I find myself waiting up for him, the need to cuddle with the love of my life does that to me. Of course, I always miss my dear when he is gone, but his return is all that much sweeter.

I realize this space has pretty much been dead air lately, and I do have a reason for that, honest I do, and it is not an excuse really, but a real reason. Want to hear it? Sure you do. All right, I have come to the realization lately that I am an angry, petty, and sometimes an unforgiving blankety blank blank. Demons. And it all boils down to one thing, arrogant pride. I don't know why I get on this high and mighty self important thing, but I do it every so often and it goes from there. It is so silly and stupid, but when I am in that mood, I don't want to blog because I am afraid of sounding more insane then I probably already do.

This arrogant pride of mine causes me all sorts of trouble. It allows me to think no one has the right to speak to me in a less than polite manner, it gives me delusions that I am somehow worthy of respect. It makes me think this endeavor is just a cry for attention for my ego, and that is just pathetic in my eyes. I don't want this space to be about that. I want it to be something that entertains, tells a story, and records the things in my life that I think maybe my daughter might get a kick out of some day. I want to be honest here, to say things I can't say just anywhere, but I stop at that because I think, this isn't just any where, this is something that can be viewed by the general public at large, and even people who have authority in my life.

No one outside of my extremely close circle of family and friends even knows about this blog, and most of them don't even read it. I would die of embarrassment if some people I know found this blog even on accident. So what does that say? I think it says, there are people in my life I have blocked out. I don't understand people who blog using their own name, even as an anonymous blogger I worry that I will be found out by people I don't want to share my thoughts on things with, but I seem to have no problem sharing with total strangers. It feels slightly dishonest, but I tell myself, I have no obligation to tell anybody anything I think at all.

It is somewhat of a conundrum if you ask me, and I find it extremely stifling. I spend too much time wondering what if I write something wrong, should I say this, can I say that? It is ridiculous. I think it stems mostly from my fear of losing my job for writing something someone doesn't like. I ask myself, "is it worth it?" My answer has always been, "no" it is not. This is how political correctness silences all conversations. Everything is off limits. We can't talk about politics, religion, race, sex, anything. We are left to carry on silly blathering conversations about the weather, food, and gardening. All interesting subjects of course, but still there are times these topics get old too.

Don't get me wrong here, I speak up all the time with people. I throw caution to the wind, and voice my opinion. I'm getting better at it, but that is talking, this is a written record, that is different to me somehow. Gosh I sound like a paranoid nut case. I don't know what I am so darn afraid of. Sorry to get all mental about stuff. This is a lousy excuse for a post I know, but someone else must be thinking about these things too. Well, maybe not. I just know at some point I have got to get the nerve to talk about things other than my mother's love of pie, and my overwhelming laundry piles, otherwise, I might as well give up this effort altogether.

Sheesh, what a depressing post. I'll be back when once I decide to be an adult and speak my mind, and damn the consequences, which might be some time in the near future. Hugs.

Bikinis, Tattoos, and Piercings

Oh My.

We went to a water park the other day. I had never been to this water park, and I realized that it has been an awful long time since I have been any place where the general public has amassed in such large numbers. I had no idea that tattooing had become such a rage. I knew more people were doing it, but I had not actually seen it so much. Sure at the Wal-Mart I see people of all stripes, but their pajama pants and tee shirts usually cover them pretty well, but at the water park people tend to let it all hang out, and well, there are a lot of people with tattoos, all over the place.

I also learned that young women are not at all embarrassed to wear bikinis in public. I guess all that self esteem training they've been put through in school has paid off. I'm not that old, but when I was that young wearing a bikini was something only the most daring of girls did. The rest of us were too modest and shy to wear anything like that. I was a fat girl though, so bikinis were definitely out of the question anyway. I didn't even want to wear a one piece bathing suit back then. Now, I wear something modest, but comfortable, because I decided a long time ago, I had to get over it, or I was going to miss out on all the fun in life.

Piercings were less prominent, although still visible on some people. There was a kid who had both of his nipples pierced, and other variations presented themselves, but I think the piercing thing is slowing down some. I wouldn't dream of piercing anything, but I wouldn't wear a bikini either, so I'm sort of out of the loop on this trend.

My daughter actually pointed out a girl in line next to us who had extremely bushy under arm hair. I immediately whispered in her ear, "Don't point at people, you wouldn't want them pointing at you!" Thankfully, extremely bushy unshaved under arms on women is not a trend that is picking up any steam at all, so that only happened once.

People were very well behaved. Nobody bothered our stuff which we left sitting at a picnic table, of course we locked up our valuables, and nobody caused any trouble at all, except for who ever it was that took a dump in the wave pool which caused it to be shut down in the afternoon. Thankfully, we were not in there at that time. Gross.

There were a couple of gay men in extra tight speedos at the entrance which was awkward, but once we got in the park we didn't see them again. The kids all saw a couple of gay men walking around holding hands, and mentioned it. They were nothing compared to this straight couple who were making out like fiends every time we saw them. I'm sorry, but when you are in a crowded line, the last thing you want is for two horny dogs to be rubbing up against each other in such close proximity, in front of your kids no less. That was tacky.

Anyway, a good day was had by all, although I could live without ever going there again. Personally, I think a day at the pool would have been just as fun. Standing around in the heat waiting to get in the water for a few seconds was draining. Never mind the fact that the place is built on a gigantic hill, which makes sense of course when you are sailing down the hill on a tube. The kids seemed to like it, which means, they will want to go back, and I can't blame them, I would have want to if I was still a kid.

I think we'll do a trip to the mountains next time. Pack a picnic lunch. Fairly cheap and easy fun there.

Back later.

The Phone Rang 4 Times As I Wrote This Post

It Rings Too Much.

It must be a law or something, but every time I get into something, be it a movie, a blog post, the shower, and most importantly a NAP the phone must ring. I was home all day the other day, I was mostly bored doing nothing. It was a quiet morning. I decided that afternoon to take a nap, a forty minute nap, the phone rang 3 times during that nap. Three times! In forty minutes.

I just sat down to read blogs, the phone rings. Perhaps I could save myself an awful lot of trouble if I were to put a phone downstairs. I really shouldn't blame the people calling, it is not their fault I get annoyed because I have to run all the way upstairs to answer the phone which is nothing more than a bother to me. What really ticks me off is when it is a telemarketer waking me up from my nap. I don't even bother with any niceties anymore. I just hang up on them immediately.

Anyway it was my mom just now. "Hello?"

"Did you just call me?" she asks.

"No, it wasn't me." I reply.

"Hmm. Well it might have been your sister then."

"Yep, maybe."

"Well, I have to run, have to get back in the bathroom, that's where I was when the phone rang before" she sighs.

"Ok Mom. I'll talk to you later" I laugh.

I love my mother. She does this at least once a week. I have tried to get her to get caller i.d. She won't. "That's why I have the answering machine" she says. She hates answering machines, yet she expects people to leave messages on hers, and even so, if they don't leave a message, she then has no idea who called, and I get these calls from her. She is such a dear sweet mother, I don't mind that she calls. I adore my mom. I just find this particular thing rather funny, sort of like her affinity for pie.

Mom always has pie. If you've got a hankerin' for pie, get yourself over to my mom's house. She often has two. Just the other day I had a piece of peach pie. It was all right. I said, "mmm, this pie is good, but nearly as good as the peach pies you make." She agreed, but stipulated that these are just much easier to make since all she has to do is bake it. Sure, I'll give her that, but store bought pie is just not as good. Mom never used to rely on the store bought pie for her family, but now she and dad are just as happy with it. She always offers me a piece of pie whenever I go to visit. I really love that about her.

I should go over and make some pies with her one afternoon. I miss her company. I don't know why I can't make time to get over there often enough. I get home and all I want to do is stay here, and work around my house.

Well, I have to go return some phone calls. Be back later. I've got a hankering for a nap as well. A nice nap in front of the fan with my two fat pillows, and my fluffy blankie wadded up with my leg thrown over it. It's almost as good as homemade pie.

Something New

Is Needed.

A new post. Something. Anything? Hmm. Seen any good movies lately? I finally watched "The Pursuit of Happyness" At first I was a bit hesitant to watch it, I was somewhat familiar with the story line, my husband and I had seen the man and his son on a talk show years ago, Oprah I think, and sort of knew what the movie was about. It was an incredibly touching tale, and we never forgot the story, but when the movie came out, I have to admit I was a little afraid that Hollywood would make it into some leftist swill blaming all of this man's woes on everyone else. I was pleasantly surprised that the story line as I remembered it from years ago was more or less in tact as I recalled it, and it was really made into an inspiring movie. I would highly recommend watching it.

It seems that putz Michael Moore has made some sort of new movie. Now now, I know name calling is not considered nice, or an intelligent way to argue, but I can't deny the words that want to come out. I'm just giving my opinion, the man is a putz. But is he really as stupid as we think? Calling him stupid is the gut reaction I have to him, but actually, he is rather cunning in a way. He has succeeded in convincing many people into believing the crap he puts forward as information, or even truth, which says quite a lot.

When I get into an elevator with a co-worker who says, "I love Michael Moore." I have to think we should not underestimate the number of people who follow his line of thinking hook, line and sinker. I can't even think about it. It is too frightening. That the man is making millions selling commie flap trap is a sure sign he is not just the stupid fat putz he appears to be. He is actually selling these ideas, for money. That's way smarter than the rest of the commies, they had to do the messy work of killing all of their opposition, never mind the fact that there is no shortage of sadists in the world willing to be used in that end.

Which brings me to, when is that dirty old bastard in Cuba going to die? And does it even matter? I'm sure his predecessor is already lined up. We've got baby Kim in North Korea, I'm sure there is a baby Castro waiting in the wings. Which reminds me, Danny Glover can just go suck it. Making movies with Hugo Chavez! How gay can you get?

This is why I am always so skeptical about watching movies any more. I have a hard time swallowing the message anymore. I can't do it. You know Fred Reed, I used to read him a lot. He said something one time that has stuck with me, it goes something like this, on t.v. they don't blatantly tell you, this is how you should behave, this is how you should think, this is what you should find acceptable, nobody would listen to them if they did. No, he says, they SHOW you over and and over and over again these things, until it becomes the picture of what culture, society, and the world should look like. Pretty darn smart thinking there.

That Fred Reed, he ruined me for the entertainment business now because I can't watch anything without asking myself, what is the message? What are they trying to show me? Well, I exaggerate a bit on that, but I do keep it in mind. I try not to take it for granted when I watch a movie, or t.v. show that I am just going to be entertained, maybe even moved, made to laugh or be inspired, there are times I have walked away when I felt someone has taken the opportunity to try to sell something beyond that.

I think that's enough for one day. Hugs.

Not a happy post

.

At one of the several duty stations my husband was assigned to while serving in the military, I worked at a little hospital as an admission clerk. I enjoyed the job very much because I worked with a bunch of crazy people, and we didn't have many patients each day so we had way too much time to goof off. There was a little old lady who was the day shift switchboard operator, she had been there forever. She used to always wear this little pink smock. I had been introduced to her when I started, but I rarely interacted with her as I usually worked the night shift, but I remember her.

Some time after my husband had been assigned somewhere else I received an email from one of the nurses I used to work with, in it she relayed the horrible news that this poor old lady had been found at home tied to a chair, where she had been beaten to death. It was dreadful news. I remember telling my husband that this woman had worked her whole life, and lived her life only to have it ended by someone so evil it was just unbearable to think about. I don't know if the crime was ever solved.

There was this kid who used to hang out with us in high school. There was a big group of us, and we used to go in the mountains and get drunk on Mad Dog 20/20, horrible stuff tastes the same going down as it does coming back up, and we would listen to music, and just be kids. Pretty harmless stuff for the most part. This one kid, we tolerated him I guess. None of the girls liked him because he would develop immediate crushes on any girl who would give him any attention. He was particularly fond of my best friend who was not interested in him in the least.

Well he had this thing that he did. He would get drunk and then it would start, his poor me, I want to die, nobody loves me, I hate myself, I'm a loser and I want to die. The first time the girls would feel sorry for him and try to tell him not to feel that way, and give him all of this sympathy. When it became a pattern, everyone would pretty much just roll their eyes and suggest he go find some place to pass out.

He always did that. I didn't like hanging out with him. I thought he was strange. I tolerated him for the most part he was my boyfriend's friend. Well it turns out the little creep was a rapist and ended up going to prison for life for raping and killing two people. One of which was a 12 year old girl. He dumped the body of the little girl right at the very spot where in high school we used to all go and party. Bastard should have been put to death for what he did, but he got life in prison.

One night my mother's cousin's husband was talking on the phone with his son when a man stormed through the front door with a knife and stabbed him 17 times. Luckily, his son heard the commotion and called 911, or he would have died. He almost did die. He lost most of the blood in his body. He was so traumatized that he has never really been the same. The man who tried to kill him was a disgruntled employee, the cousin's husband had been his boss and laid him off because he was a shitbag loser. The man went to prison. He did not get life in prison. He should have at the very least been sent to prison for the rest of his life.

There was a girl I went to high school with. She got pregnant. Her mother immediately dropped her off at a group home for pregnant teen agers and drove off in her Cadillac on her merry way. The girl went on welfare, and eventually met a G.I. who she married. He was not the father of the little girl that she had, but it didn't matter, in no time at all she was pregnant with his baby. One day he killed her little girl. He hit her in the stomach so hard that he ruptured her spleen and she died from internal injuries. She was 17 months old. He went to prison. I believe he got 30 years. He will be out in about 10 years I suppose. He will be in his 40's. Still young enough to enjoy some sort of life.

Want to know something even more strange? The mother of the baby, at one time she had a relationship with the above mentioned murderer--the one who raped and murdered two people. Basically, she has been involved with at least two murderers. Talk about your lousy taste in men. I stopped speaking to her many years ago. She still tries to contact me every so often. Usually she calls my mom and asks her to have me call her. My mom knows I want nothing to do with this woman, and so never gives her any information about me.

Perhaps it says I have lousy taste in friends, but in reality, I was never really good friends with either of those people. They were around, there were lots of people around, but something in my gut always told me something was wrong there. I knew it. I was young and much more trusting and tolerant, and I ignored my gut.

I think sometimes we ignore our gut to our own detriment. We over ride it to avoid hurting people's feelings. I try not to do that anymore. If I don't feel right about someone, I don't waste nearly as much time exploring those feelings. I just move on.

The reason I brought all of this up is because it has been on my mind. The other day I read a post by Tony at Blah Blah Blog, it seems someone near him has been murdered. Had her life taken from her by an evil murderer. I have been thinking about how close to home these things hit sometimes. Sometimes the world is an awful scary place to live, even in this great nation of ours.

You Deserve Better Than This

I Will Try To Do Better.

I woke up very early this morning. Something about pizza, hot wings, and lemonade will do that too you, but you don't want to hear about all of that I am sure. My muse is always alive and kicking first thing in the morning, trouble is, I am usually snoring away at that time so all you get is my usual boring stuff when I finally do make it out of bed.

There I was with a nasty case of heartburn with swirling thoughts of this and that, and I decided I should get up and write something on the blog which I haven't even checked in more than a couple of days. The trouble is now that I am more than half awake, all of the creative thoughts have left me. Weird. I know.

I actually started this blog in 2004, but in a fit of bi-polar disorder coupled with slight paranoia I decided to delete the entire thing. I didn't save any of it at all. I just erased it. A couple of people have expressed dismay at that decision, I've even wondered what the dickens got into me to do such a thing. Anyway, it is done. I can't undo it. I regret losing some posts that I wrote about my mom which I thought really captured her persona. I've tried to redo them, but I haven't had much luck with that.

My former English teachers would probably take a ruler or at least a spiral notebook and beat me upside the head with it if they knew how often I actually start sentences with the word, "I". It is really a bit off putting even to me. I--will try to do better.

The kiddo's summer vacation officially begins today. I don't know who is happier about that. It will be nice to have a break from the school. The end of this school year was a very unpleasant time. Those people kept on ticking me off with some of their antics, some of which made my daughter cry more than was necessary. I'm still fuming about some things, and I really don't want to get into it right now with my heartburn already bothering me. That is a post for later, I don't want to ruin my calm mood right now.

I have taken to calling everyone "darling" which I say with some sort of accent. It is a rather odd personality tick that I have developed which I can't seem to shake. It's my flair. I don't really want to talk about my flair. (Office Space, love that movie)

Those darn dogs went and dug up and tore up all the hard work hubby and I did in the back yard. This week I will have to go out there, shovel up all of the wood chips we put there to kill the weeds, and redo the landscaping fabric we put under it which is nearly shredded now from the dogs digging in there.

The first time they just displaced things, so I went and got some pots of flowers and placed them over the spot they dug up. The second time was when they really trashed it, I found the pots in the yard, and one I had placed in there with nothing more than soil and seeds had been completely dumped over and drug through the yard. I know it was the dog and not the horrendous wind we've had lately because the pot had bit marks on it, and I saw the boy dog go and drag the thing off of the porch later that day.

So hubby went and put a bench in there, some cinder blocks (not my decor of choice mind you) and the pots of flowers back until we could get in there and repair the destruction. Oh but I intend to fix their wagons, I am going to put rocks down in there. I want to see them dig up rocks without any opposable thumbs. I want to see it.

One of my many German neighbors told me the other day that the yard looks better than it ever has. That was nice to hear, we have been putting in a great deal of effort there.

That is pretty much all I have right now. I'm thinking about yard work, I can't wait to get out there. I know I am a total nerd. Or obsessed. I should have time to post more this week. We shall see.

We Don't Even Know What We Are Doing

Doing It Anyway.

Hubby and I did yard work all day. I think he sees it as work. I do too, but I also see it as fun. We worked for hours on this one flower bed in our back yard. The flower bed is nothing but a horrendous mess of weeds that eventually approach the height of the privacy fence beside them. The sunflowers haven't come in yet, but oh boy when they do it is a huge mess.

I like sunflowers as much as the next person, I was born in Kansas land of the sunflower, but when mixed in with several different species of noxious weeds the whole situation gets out of control immediately and the result is a sorry looking eyesore that is nearly impossible to mow beside without getting scraped and scratched by stickers and possibly even stung by bees and wasps. It is just not good.

The weed wacker can barely manage the majority of very thick weeds, and it quickly gets out of hand. We decided to take the bull by the horns before it reached its usual unbearable stage. We took a couple of hours to cut down each and every one of those weeds which have already got more established than we would like, and after we got it all cleared out we put weed killer down, and then covered it with that weed preventer stuff. After having done all of that, we finally filled the beds with mulch, or wood chips if you will.

The combination of the weed preventer fabric, and the mulch will hopefully prevent the above mentioned scenario, and although it is rather plain, we felt it was a fairly cost effective solution to the problem. We thought about planting some bushes in there, but decided that would cost too much right now. Instead we decided that later we can place nice looking containers of flowers, and hey, it is the perfect location for about 50 garden gnomes. Hey, why not?

As of yet, we don't have any lawn ornaments, but I think a couple of cutesy tootsy things placed in there would be kind of fun, and it would give me the perfect reason to buy that totally cool Buddha statue I saw at Lowes. I was a little apprehensive about using someone's religious symbol as a simple garden ornament, and this has prevented me from buying one in the first place, but I really do like the statue. I'm not sure if that sort of thing is really acceptable since I know next to nothing about Buddhism anyway.

I just thought how distasteful I found it when I heard of someone placing a Crucifix in a jar of urine, and don't want to be a hypocrit here. Granted, the Buddha statue would be treated much more nicely in my backyard anyway.

I remember my aunt used to have this little black boy statue in her yard, a lot of people had them. Someone decided these were derogatory and people seemed to almost simultaneously decide to remove these things from their yards. Maybe they just fell out of fashion, I don't know I was a little kid then.

I heard several years ago that some of Roseanne Barr's neighbors were highly offended that she had taken to placing hundreds of plastic pink flamingos in her yard in the high class neighborhood she was living in. I found that story amusing as I imagined some rich folks being bent out of shape about her cheap lawn decor, never mind the fact that a hundreds of plastic pink flamingos are not cheap for most people.

We haven't decided exactly what we will do with the new flower bed. It won't be a flower bed in the traditional sense because there is no way a flower could survive in there with those vicious weeds. Our goal was to kill them. Hopefully we will succeed at that. We didn't really know what we were doing. We just did it, and are hoping it works.

Mad Dogs

Demand Their Day.

The dogs are not very happy that I neglected to post pictures of them as well. The fact that my last post included pics of nothing but those quote, "orange, eating and pooping machines," upset them to no end. I anticipate a rebellion brewing and will definitely make sure the trash can is out of reach tonight.

I can't blame the dogs really. According to them, those lazy cats do nothing but eat food and then poop it out in cat litter that we have to buy and change all the time, and they even have the nerve to scratch at the brand new furniture. One has to admit that at least the dogs do provide a service by barking at strangers, and guarding the home from intruders. The cats don't do that.

Yes, for once the dogs have managed to convince me that there are indeed creatures in this house who are lazier than they are, and that is saying a lot. At least the cats don't hog up the bed, that's a plus in their favor, and they have figured out how to use a toilet, even if it is only a rudimentary box full of sand.

Which brings me to the question that all thinking people eventually ask themselves, is this really what life is all about? Eating and pooping? Everything in life seems to come back to this simple thing. It is why billions of people get out of bed everyday.

Some people believe that is all there is to life, that we are simply creatures with biological functions and nothing more. When we stop eating and pooping we die. That's it. I can't believe that. I've never been able to believe that. It is not because I am scared to believe it, it is because it doesn't make sense to me.

The universe is an amazing thing. When I was a teen ager I could sit and ponder the universe for hours. I would follow my dad around the house picking his brain about space, the moon, the stars and the planets. I would ask where the universe ends, how far does it go, does it really go on forever, how is it contained, what is it contained in, where did the universe come from and many other questions. Whenever I think about God, I think about the universe. I've always felt that somehow the two were connected.

This is why I find faith so much easier than atheism. It seems pretty darn bold to just say, there is no God. Period. Now I can understand a little waffling when it comes to religion, but to just outright say there is no Creator? I don't understand that. How exactly does one reach that conclusion without any evidence other than scientific theories. I suppose they base it on a lack of evidence. That is the usual argument I hear.

Anyway, definitely a good after dinner front porch swing topic. Whatever the case may be, my dogs don't seem to care one way or the other, but I can't say for sure that they haven't thought of it though. One thing is certain, they definitely do not like most cats.

When Can't Think of Anything to Say

Post Pictures Instead.

In The Midst Of My Meltdown

Must Make Time For Blogging.

All right. I do that a lot, start posts with "all right" that is. It's my way of saying, "listen up people, for once I've got something to say, and it might be good." Even if most likely it really isn't good, it is just me hoping, or possibly a desperate cry for attention. My friend has a saying for when we, she or someone does something bad, "Going to hell in gasoline drawers," she'll say, and I always promise myself that someday I will work that statement into an everyday conversation, but I forget to do it besides I probably wouldn't say it right anyway.

Well lately I've been running around in a pair of gas soaked panties feeling like I am going to burn for my nasty mood and demeanor. Cranky? Yes. Bitchy? Certainly. Hormonal? What's it to you punk? Yeah. I've been mean. Meaner than usual? Check. I don't know why. Women hate it when people say, "are we hormonal?" Yet, that's the first thing we say when we are, and we know we have been bad. Men hate to hear it, they think it is just an excuse to be bitchy.

Well it isn't. I genuinely feel out of sorts when my hormones get out of whack, and I most definitely cannot be trusted with any decisions of importance. I cannot be trusted. I will make a choice that is based purely on emotion, anger, all around meanness or just to spite whoever has made the foolish mistake of crossing my path sideways. At times like these I am prone to angry ranting all while I stifle back tears. At times like these I can defend myself with a verbal ferocity that makes grown men cry for momma. And then I want to cry, and I think everyone is mad at me, and hates me, Lord, am I bi-polar?

That's the kind of day I had. It started off beautiful and full of laughter, and it ended with yelling and bitterness. No, I didn't yell at poor hubby, I love him. I basically directed it at someone who pissed me off, and he yelled too but eventually we hugged and made up. I had a legitimate beef, but I do feel my emotions got the better of me even though I am pretty sure my husband would say I handled it well. For some reason he really gets a kick out of me ripping someone a new one when they need it.

I'm exhausted. Will be back soon when the meanness subsides a bit. Tomorrow maybe.