Big Decisions

Must Hash This Out.

I'm sure most normal well adjusted people don't hash out their big decisions on their personal blogs, but I never once claimed to be a normal well adjusted person so I guess it would be all right for me to do it. I'm not exactly sure how I could describe myself, but I would say I come somewhere close to normal, probably so normal, I might even be described as boring. Although there is that temper of mine which has caused me a bit of trouble here and there, but it is usually just a result of my running off at the mouth as I tend to do when I feel all indignant about something. My mom always said I should be a lawyer, but I'm too honest for that. Apologies to the honest lawyers out there, I'm sure you both understand that I am not speaking of you here.

Anyway, I'm running off at the fingertips here and I'm not anywhere close to making a point yet, which now that I think about it is pretty much the case with most of my posts so I guess I could say I am indeed right on point. For about the last month and a half I have completely racked my brains trying figure out how I am going to go to school full-time this next semester, see to my daughter's education and the possibility of home schooling, and keep my job, house, and family in relative cleanliness. I have played out every scenario I could come up with, repeated the ideas to my husband, friends, family and pets, and still I cannot commit to a decision.

Hubby, bless his heart, says, "Quit your job and go to school full-time." Now, I know he remembers how incredibly difficult it was for me to find this job back when I found it, after having been unemployed, and searching for work, I promised myself like Scarlett O'hara that I would never go without work again, even though she just swore to never be hungry again, it is the same sort of thing although I am being a complete drama queen because my situation was nothing like hers at all, but I just liked the movie so much I wanted to refer to it, and make a mental note to myself to read that book once and for all because I have wanted to for quite a long time. She did say that right? I don't know it's been so long since I've seen the movie, I might not even have that right.

Let's move on, so hubby said quit my job, and believe me it is a valid idea, BUT I am so darn afraid to be unemployed. I'm telling you it is a dreadful feeling, and I am afraid of getting into a bind financially although hubby makes good money, I'm just scared and I want to get over it. So, I'm have spent countless hours examining, and re-examining in my mind our finances, and our financial needs, and have reached the conclusion that there really should be no reason that we can't live on his income, BUT we have to be really careful and that means no more spontaneous spending, which for goodness sakes if we can live on a Corporal's pay, should be no darn problem at all.

I remember the days where our daughter was just a little bitty baby, and he was a young Corporal in the Marine Corps, and on the first and the fifteenth of every month, I would go to the commisary and buy groceries and diapers for 2 weeks, pay the rest of our bills, and announce to hubby when he got home that "we only have $40 for the next two weeks for gas." And we did that for like two years! That is back before the baby knew anything at all about Wal-Mart, and therefore was not constantly picking our pocket at the store wanting this, and wanting that.

So, I'm thinking if I were to make that leap and quit my job I suppose we could change his withholding on his paycheck so we can keep more of the money he makes, and I could take out loans for school. I do feel somewhat of a sense of urgency to get through school asap. I'm not getting any younger you see, and well, I'm ready for a career change. It is a huge decision, one I'm not taking lightly at all.

I think I've finally decided to just go ahead and keep my job, and go to school. I will just have to really manage my time like crazy, it is either that or manage our money like crazy, and that is just no fun. That is basically what it boils down to. Lists, that's what I will need. Lots of lists assigning things to be done by people. Things which I normally do. I will bribe my daughter with an allowance. Yes. It will be a good lesson for her too, she can learn to be more responsible, and the joy of earning money by working. This is brilliant, I should have thought of this before. My goodness, I've been doing way too much around this house for way too long.

All right we will see how this works. I feel relieved. I've been tossing this around in my mind for such a long time.