This has been hard lately.
Putting anything on this blog lately has been very difficult for me. It is not necessarily that I don't have anything to say, but that I just don't know what to say. A lot of things feel out of balance right now. Work has been slow, and I was off for two weeks when we went back to be with my uncle as he passed from this world to the next. I've had too much time off I think, and yet, I still feel like I've got so much to do at home I welcome the time off.
I just don't feel like I have a firm grip on anything right now. I am surrounded by piles of things to do, and I move at snail pace at accomplishing anything. It is just plain ridiculous. I made a wonderful pot of chili last night, I left it on the stove and was going to put it away, but I knew my daughter would want some, and sure enough I woke up this morning and realized I left it out overnight and had to throw the whole pot away.
I was mad at myself for wasting the food. It felt like I had wasted a blessing from God. We have been provided so many gifts, and to throw one away seems like an insult to the giver. The puritan in me said, "waste not, want not!" as I scooped the chili into the trash, and I was disappointed with myself. Anyway, I may be over thinking it a bit, but I did feel bad.
The vacuum cleaner finally broke. It just can't handle the amount of dirt that needs cleaned up in this house I guess. Actually, it was clogging up a lot, and my husband threw his hands up in the air the last time he tried to unclog it. The daughter and I went and bought a new one at the Wal-Mart last night. Hopefully it will last more than a year, although I am starting to suspect that these vacuums are designed not to go any longer than that. I've had to buy a new vacuum every year for the last few years now, it is a trend I cannot ignore. My floors aren't that bad.
My parent's had their vacuum that they bought at Sears for at least 25 years, they may still use it for all I know. My parents get things fixed, they don't replace them, but in this case it is just cheaper to go get a new vacuum. I hate to say that, but it is true. If anyone knows of a model that lasts longer and is worth repairing I will happily invest in it. I've tried all brands, Eureka, Dirt Devil, Hoover, each seems to have about the same life in it. I can't tell any real difference in any of them.
Anyway, I'm going on and on, and my mom called this morning and wanted me to take her someplace, this is code for me getting to her house and her deciding that she doesn't want to go, and I will go for her which I don't mind really. We've all run so many errands for her, she just hands over her debit card and we go.
Oh and she really stunned me the other day, she called me up and said, "Will you go to the store and buy me a cake?" She went on to say, "I have pie, but it is DAD who really likes the pie, I prefer cake and I really just want a piece of cake!" I was crushed. I said, "Mom, do you realize that I have devoted entire sections of my blog to your love of pie, and here I find out that it is DAD who really likes pie?" All of those shopping trips to 3 different grocery stores buying 12 different kinds of pie because I thought SHE loved pie, and it turns out my dad is the real culprit in the pie department. It doesn't really change anything, but still I was surprised.
Today she wants me to go have something framed for my dad, I better get a move on.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Things
Just Stuff.
1. We already put our Christmas tree up.
2. My husband and I never buy each other Christmas gifts. This was a tradition we started when we first got married, and everyone did tell us that we would make our own traditions as a family. Back then we were too broke to buy each other anything, now I guess we are just too cheap. My husband says, "Just buy what you want throughout the year", I think he just doesn't like shopping all that much.
3. Our daughter gets a lion share of gifts for Christmas because she is an only child, and because we don't buy for each other.
4. The kiddo wants an X-box, or some other such trendy gadget for Christmas, she is not getting one. I just won't spend nearly $400 on one of these things. That is ridiculous. She will still have a nice Christmas.
5. Some years the majority of gifts our family received were from my parents. Our first year stationed overseas, we were so broke from the move that we could not afford anything much at all, even for our daughter, and my mother knowing this, sent so many boxes that we actually had gifts under the tree.
6. I've never made a whole Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner in all of these years. The 3 of us would never eat all of that food even if I tried to make smaller portions.
7. Our first Thanksgiving overseas we ate at Taco Bell on base.
8. The holidays are not as fun when you have no family around.
9. My husband and I are both going to be working on Christmas.
10. We both had Thanksgiving off. We had dinner at my parent's house.
11. Thanksgiving was the first major holiday I have had off in 3 years.
12. My husband will be working on Christmas for the next 7 years.
13. The holidays are only really fun for people when they are off and get to spend that time with family.
14. The best part about Christmas for me is the tree and the decorations because I actually get to enjoy those parts at my leisure.
15. Christmas has been marketed to death, but I still think it is an important time for families, and an important day of celebration for our culture. Nothing will make someone appreciate that time more, than not being able to participate in the celebrations.
16. At least we got Thanksgiving off. That was nice.
1. We already put our Christmas tree up.
2. My husband and I never buy each other Christmas gifts. This was a tradition we started when we first got married, and everyone did tell us that we would make our own traditions as a family. Back then we were too broke to buy each other anything, now I guess we are just too cheap. My husband says, "Just buy what you want throughout the year", I think he just doesn't like shopping all that much.
3. Our daughter gets a lion share of gifts for Christmas because she is an only child, and because we don't buy for each other.
4. The kiddo wants an X-box, or some other such trendy gadget for Christmas, she is not getting one. I just won't spend nearly $400 on one of these things. That is ridiculous. She will still have a nice Christmas.
5. Some years the majority of gifts our family received were from my parents. Our first year stationed overseas, we were so broke from the move that we could not afford anything much at all, even for our daughter, and my mother knowing this, sent so many boxes that we actually had gifts under the tree.
6. I've never made a whole Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner in all of these years. The 3 of us would never eat all of that food even if I tried to make smaller portions.
7. Our first Thanksgiving overseas we ate at Taco Bell on base.
8. The holidays are not as fun when you have no family around.
9. My husband and I are both going to be working on Christmas.
10. We both had Thanksgiving off. We had dinner at my parent's house.
11. Thanksgiving was the first major holiday I have had off in 3 years.
12. My husband will be working on Christmas for the next 7 years.
13. The holidays are only really fun for people when they are off and get to spend that time with family.
14. The best part about Christmas for me is the tree and the decorations because I actually get to enjoy those parts at my leisure.
15. Christmas has been marketed to death, but I still think it is an important time for families, and an important day of celebration for our culture. Nothing will make someone appreciate that time more, than not being able to participate in the celebrations.
16. At least we got Thanksgiving off. That was nice.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
I Don't Like Him
Which 2008 candidate do you hate the most?
The candidate you like least is Democrat Barack Obama. He is pro-choice, opposes the death penalty, wants universal healthcare, supports embryonic stem cell research, is in favor of banning assault weapons -- this guy is your worst nightmare!
Take the quiz at Buttafly.comDeath And Taxes
Taxed in the Grave.
There were two homes, my grandparent's home which my father was born and raised in, and the house across the street that was my great parent's home. When the last of the great grandparent's passed away in 1974, my uncle ended up living in that house, it became his. I don't know the circumstances as to how that happened, but it was his, and no one had any beef with that. He may have bought it from my grandparents, I don't know, it is not really important.
My grandfather died in 1983, and my grandmother continued living in their home until her death in 1998, at that time, the house went to 3 of the 4 children. My dad did not want to be included in that as we live in a different state, and other reasons that aren't all that important. So, my uncle took out a mortgage, and bought the other two siblings out of the house. Truth be told they didn't want the house, they wanted the money, it was a win win for the most part.
So, my uncle had his house which was my great grandparent's home, and he also owned the house across the street which was my grandparent's home. He felt they were family homes, and did not want to let them go. In many ways he became a prisoner of those two homes. Both homes were very old, over 100 years old, and with that they needed some repairs although, overall both are in very good condition.
He put a lot of money in his home, and did many major upgrades and repairs. Grandmother's home was empty a lot of the time. He couldn't bear to let anyone other than family live in that home. He did let one of my cousins light there for a while, and my husband, daughter and I even lived in that house when he left the Marine Corps, we paid a very modest rent, which covered the mortgage he had to take out on it to buy the other two out. I got homesick for mom and dad, and we decided to move closer to parents.
Then grandmother's house was empty again. No one was there to enjoy the beautiful woodwork, the mahogany stair case, and all of the other great features old homes like that have to offer. It still sits empty.
When my uncle learned he was dying, he wanted to marry his lovely lady, and leave her his estate. He was going to leave the homes to my dad, but my dad did not want them. He has no intention of moving back there, and agreed that he should leave these things to his wife. Which is what my uncle decided to do.
He had an iron clad will, and had plans to add her to all titles etc. but he ran out of time. The doctors thought he might have 9 months to a year and a half, it turns out he died 2 months after they gave him this timeline. He got very ill towards the end and didn't get all of those things done. When he left us for a better world, we have only his will, and their marriage to support his wishes.
For most decent people that would be enough, but unfortunately, his estate is going to go to probate. I don't know what that is, other than an opportunity for thieves to rape and pillage his estate down to next to nothing. Which is what is going to happen. The attorney has already suggested that his wife will have to sell my grandmother's home to pay the probate and lawyer's fees. It will cost that much. The state takes a percentage of the estate, and the lawyer matches it.
That is the best case scenario, the worst case scenario is his widow may have to sell both properties to pay the costs. It all depends on how much our glorious rulers think is enough. All this so that some newspaper ads can be run to see who else wants a piece of the action. Never mind the fact that his widow could have assumed his debts, if any, and paid them with whatever he left. No, that's too darn simple.
I am astounded, and I had no idea this would happen. It is such a shame, and a sham. My dad said to me, "You know, I'd have more respect for a thief that sticks a gun in my face and robs me than this."
Even if my uncle had been able to get his new wife's name on everything, the state is not satisfied with that, they like to take a look back over the last couple of years to see if people have tried to unload anything that they might have been able to take. Their situation of being newly married complicated things, but the state still would have came barging in.
This is a very serious lesson, one that no one should learn while in the process of grieving the loss of a loved one. The state is hard enough to take on, let alone when in such a fragile state. It is disgusting. There are less and less ways around these death taxes.
It is a shame to work your whole life for something only to have it taken away and sold off for profit by greedy people. Let this be a lesson to you. Don't wait until you are ill to talk about these things, and work on them. Somehow my grandmother avoided probate because she had put her children's names on the title of everything. That is about the only loophole left, but you can't do it a year before you die as the state looks back. These are things an attorney should be able to get through, and prevent happening, but even still they have motive to let you fall into that probate trap as well.
I tell you, we're going to have to go back to hiding things in our mattresses. Something to think about.
There were two homes, my grandparent's home which my father was born and raised in, and the house across the street that was my great parent's home. When the last of the great grandparent's passed away in 1974, my uncle ended up living in that house, it became his. I don't know the circumstances as to how that happened, but it was his, and no one had any beef with that. He may have bought it from my grandparents, I don't know, it is not really important.
My grandfather died in 1983, and my grandmother continued living in their home until her death in 1998, at that time, the house went to 3 of the 4 children. My dad did not want to be included in that as we live in a different state, and other reasons that aren't all that important. So, my uncle took out a mortgage, and bought the other two siblings out of the house. Truth be told they didn't want the house, they wanted the money, it was a win win for the most part.
So, my uncle had his house which was my great grandparent's home, and he also owned the house across the street which was my grandparent's home. He felt they were family homes, and did not want to let them go. In many ways he became a prisoner of those two homes. Both homes were very old, over 100 years old, and with that they needed some repairs although, overall both are in very good condition.
He put a lot of money in his home, and did many major upgrades and repairs. Grandmother's home was empty a lot of the time. He couldn't bear to let anyone other than family live in that home. He did let one of my cousins light there for a while, and my husband, daughter and I even lived in that house when he left the Marine Corps, we paid a very modest rent, which covered the mortgage he had to take out on it to buy the other two out. I got homesick for mom and dad, and we decided to move closer to parents.
Then grandmother's house was empty again. No one was there to enjoy the beautiful woodwork, the mahogany stair case, and all of the other great features old homes like that have to offer. It still sits empty.
When my uncle learned he was dying, he wanted to marry his lovely lady, and leave her his estate. He was going to leave the homes to my dad, but my dad did not want them. He has no intention of moving back there, and agreed that he should leave these things to his wife. Which is what my uncle decided to do.
He had an iron clad will, and had plans to add her to all titles etc. but he ran out of time. The doctors thought he might have 9 months to a year and a half, it turns out he died 2 months after they gave him this timeline. He got very ill towards the end and didn't get all of those things done. When he left us for a better world, we have only his will, and their marriage to support his wishes.
For most decent people that would be enough, but unfortunately, his estate is going to go to probate. I don't know what that is, other than an opportunity for thieves to rape and pillage his estate down to next to nothing. Which is what is going to happen. The attorney has already suggested that his wife will have to sell my grandmother's home to pay the probate and lawyer's fees. It will cost that much. The state takes a percentage of the estate, and the lawyer matches it.
That is the best case scenario, the worst case scenario is his widow may have to sell both properties to pay the costs. It all depends on how much our glorious rulers think is enough. All this so that some newspaper ads can be run to see who else wants a piece of the action. Never mind the fact that his widow could have assumed his debts, if any, and paid them with whatever he left. No, that's too darn simple.
I am astounded, and I had no idea this would happen. It is such a shame, and a sham. My dad said to me, "You know, I'd have more respect for a thief that sticks a gun in my face and robs me than this."
Even if my uncle had been able to get his new wife's name on everything, the state is not satisfied with that, they like to take a look back over the last couple of years to see if people have tried to unload anything that they might have been able to take. Their situation of being newly married complicated things, but the state still would have came barging in.
This is a very serious lesson, one that no one should learn while in the process of grieving the loss of a loved one. The state is hard enough to take on, let alone when in such a fragile state. It is disgusting. There are less and less ways around these death taxes.
It is a shame to work your whole life for something only to have it taken away and sold off for profit by greedy people. Let this be a lesson to you. Don't wait until you are ill to talk about these things, and work on them. Somehow my grandmother avoided probate because she had put her children's names on the title of everything. That is about the only loophole left, but you can't do it a year before you die as the state looks back. These are things an attorney should be able to get through, and prevent happening, but even still they have motive to let you fall into that probate trap as well.
I tell you, we're going to have to go back to hiding things in our mattresses. Something to think about.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Time Crunch
Loose Ends.
We lost my uncle last Saturday, he was my dad's youngest brother, and really the last of any family we have outside of our clan. He was 54 years old, a Captain with his police department, and an all around great guy. He had met a nice woman a few years ago, and was finally able to love again after having gone through a trainwreck of a divorce and marriage. She was his perfect match, and I could tell they had become extremely close, close on that level that we often refer to as "soulmates".
He had a rare form of cancer, which was a particularly vicious cancer of the liver. Chemo and radiation did nothing to spite this cancer, and as his time neared the end he fought hard. He suffered, and was in terrible agony. His new wife, my dad and I were there. Dad and I were the only ones who could get away, but the rest of our family would have been there if at all possible. My mom virtually sat and cried at home at her kitchen table for a week and a half because she wanted to be there for him, but she couldn't. Her own health would not permit such a trip.
My uncle was a dedicated planner. Being a police officer for over 30 years, he had a way of seeing and planning for every possible contingency and always tried to have all of his ducks in a row. Unfortunately in this case, time was not on his side. He left some loose ends behind, but he tried everything he could to get it all right. He had spent the last several years working hard to get right with God, and that relationship gave him a great deal of comfort at the end. He was a very private person and I'm not even sure he would have liked all of the attention his passing was given, but he would have gave a most sheepish grin, and accepted it most likely. He never wanted to offend anyone.
We found many people cared very deeply for him, and they were overwhelmingly supportive and sympathetic. His passing and funeral made the evening news. I had no idea so many people knew him in so many ways. The community came out and offered a great deal of respect towards the man that I knew as a humble person. It was surreal in so many ways, and I don't use that word lightly. He was a special person, a complicated man, a storyteller, and a person with a great sense of humor. I will miss those things about him the most.
Many lessons were learned here. Take care of those loose ends. Just love each other.
We lost my uncle last Saturday, he was my dad's youngest brother, and really the last of any family we have outside of our clan. He was 54 years old, a Captain with his police department, and an all around great guy. He had met a nice woman a few years ago, and was finally able to love again after having gone through a trainwreck of a divorce and marriage. She was his perfect match, and I could tell they had become extremely close, close on that level that we often refer to as "soulmates".
He had a rare form of cancer, which was a particularly vicious cancer of the liver. Chemo and radiation did nothing to spite this cancer, and as his time neared the end he fought hard. He suffered, and was in terrible agony. His new wife, my dad and I were there. Dad and I were the only ones who could get away, but the rest of our family would have been there if at all possible. My mom virtually sat and cried at home at her kitchen table for a week and a half because she wanted to be there for him, but she couldn't. Her own health would not permit such a trip.
My uncle was a dedicated planner. Being a police officer for over 30 years, he had a way of seeing and planning for every possible contingency and always tried to have all of his ducks in a row. Unfortunately in this case, time was not on his side. He left some loose ends behind, but he tried everything he could to get it all right. He had spent the last several years working hard to get right with God, and that relationship gave him a great deal of comfort at the end. He was a very private person and I'm not even sure he would have liked all of the attention his passing was given, but he would have gave a most sheepish grin, and accepted it most likely. He never wanted to offend anyone.
We found many people cared very deeply for him, and they were overwhelmingly supportive and sympathetic. His passing and funeral made the evening news. I had no idea so many people knew him in so many ways. The community came out and offered a great deal of respect towards the man that I knew as a humble person. It was surreal in so many ways, and I don't use that word lightly. He was a special person, a complicated man, a storyteller, and a person with a great sense of humor. I will miss those things about him the most.
Many lessons were learned here. Take care of those loose ends. Just love each other.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Deep Sigh
Update.
I'm back home. My dad and I arrived last night. I have a ton of things to do, but first things first, I need to make some coffee, and then maybe make a list. I've missed my blog, and all of the blogs that I read. I have not looked at a single blog, including my own since I left home almost two weeks ago.
I want to get caught up on all of that really soon. My husband is such a dear man, he thinks I have "fans", hehe, I asked him to post something so people wouldn't think that I had died, and he promptly took care of that for me.
Anyway, I just wanted to drop in really quick, I have to get up and get away from the computer immediately, or I will be tempted to go visit my favorites and that will distract me from the overwhelming pile of things I have to do today--right now. I want to get back as soon as possible because I have a lot of stuff I want to write about.
Our family suffered a huge and tragic loss. He was all we had left of family outside of my parents and siblings, and we all loved him very much. Back Soon.
I'm back home. My dad and I arrived last night. I have a ton of things to do, but first things first, I need to make some coffee, and then maybe make a list. I've missed my blog, and all of the blogs that I read. I have not looked at a single blog, including my own since I left home almost two weeks ago.
I want to get caught up on all of that really soon. My husband is such a dear man, he thinks I have "fans", hehe, I asked him to post something so people wouldn't think that I had died, and he promptly took care of that for me.
Anyway, I just wanted to drop in really quick, I have to get up and get away from the computer immediately, or I will be tempted to go visit my favorites and that will distract me from the overwhelming pile of things I have to do today--right now. I want to get back as soon as possible because I have a lot of stuff I want to write about.
Our family suffered a huge and tragic loss. He was all we had left of family outside of my parents and siblings, and we all loved him very much. Back Soon.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Away From Keyboard
Dear Family, Friends, and Loyal Fans,
This post was titled Away From Keyboard, also known as AFK. It's early in the morning and AFK was the best I could come up with. Anyway, my wife is unfortunately out of town and has been for about a week. She asked me to post something here explaining her sudden disappearance. In summary, one of her last living relatives, her uncle, was very sick. She felt obligated to be there with him so she left immediately. I will end on that note. If she wants to fill you in with more details, more power to her. Nevertheless, she sends her deepest apologies for not being avail to post in her blog. However, she asks that if you can find it in your heart to forgive her, she would feel so much better. She loves and misses you all.
Sincerely,
Brown Eyes
This post was titled Away From Keyboard, also known as AFK. It's early in the morning and AFK was the best I could come up with. Anyway, my wife is unfortunately out of town and has been for about a week. She asked me to post something here explaining her sudden disappearance. In summary, one of her last living relatives, her uncle, was very sick. She felt obligated to be there with him so she left immediately. I will end on that note. If she wants to fill you in with more details, more power to her. Nevertheless, she sends her deepest apologies for not being avail to post in her blog. However, she asks that if you can find it in your heart to forgive her, she would feel so much better. She loves and misses you all.
Sincerely,
Brown Eyes
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