And I Need Some Sunshine.
Predictably my house is a mess. I'm off today and have a ton of things to get done. I like the house all nice and sparkling clean when hubby gets home, this is usually accomplished about half the time, but I keep trying. I'm just not a good housewife, and that's why I'm not one. When I was younger, I lived to clean the house, and pick up other people's things, but lately, I just can't muster the interest in it. So much disrespect of my efforts has led me to basically give up and I think seasonal depression has added to the problem.
Maybe it's not seasonal depression, but it sure does sound like a good excuse for my slovenly ways. I do miss sunshine, well actually, we've had some of that, but it's just a tad too crisp for me still. I need some warmth, the kind that comes from being outside on a beautiful spring day surrounded by green. Green is such a lovely color. I can barely stand to look at the ugly brown deadness that surrounds me any longer. Dead lawns are so darn ugly. I yearn for spring deep down in my soul. I can't stand this dry, dusty climate much longer.
So that's what's on the agenda today: Get my ducks in a row. Last week was stressful, I had a lot of stupid mundane tasks demanded of me. A lot of pending crap that needed done. I felt resentful about it. I needed to do some stuff with our taxes and the printer decided to gorge itself on paper, and is no longer able to function. !!! This really made me angry as I had gone out of my way to get the black ink it was screaming for, at almost $30, and it printed about a fourth of what I needed then crapped out on me.
I'm look over at it now with the paper feed light still blinking from 5 days ago, and I seethe. There is a piece of paper tangled up so deep within the thing, I can't think of a single instrument I could use to remove it, although a sledge hammer has come to mind more than once. Blasted thing.
So now I wait for hubby to come home and fix the problem. The reason I have decided to unload this burden on him is I have a nagging suspicion that he has a brand new printer boxed up somewhere in that hell hole we call a "garage", and that he will come riding in on his white steed and get it out and hook it all up for me. Either that or he will summon some manly tool that will delicately remove the tangled paper, and the printer of my loathing will miraculously work again, and I will no longer hate the thing.
And if all else fails, I'm buying a new one, and it's going to have a scanner too because I secretly want to scan old photos of people and post them on this blog. I've got some good ones too!
So there it is. Now, I've got to get a move on, this house isn't going to clean itself.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Guess What
Guess Who?
Guess who will be turning 13 in the near future? I'm really excited about this. That's right, I'm about to become the mom of a teen ager! Hehe. Well, I think it's exciting, but she's still very much my baby girl. I think we are going to have a lot of fun. People always say, "Oh just wait until your kid reaches this age..." but I'm not really dreading it. I'm happy about it. I have no reason to believe she is going to be a terror. I've known lots of teen agers who were nothing like the hairy sweaty werewolf in disguise monsters I've heard them described as. Besides, I think she knows I would kick her butt if she got too far out of line.
Oh boy.
Guess who will be turning 13 in the near future? I'm really excited about this. That's right, I'm about to become the mom of a teen ager! Hehe. Well, I think it's exciting, but she's still very much my baby girl. I think we are going to have a lot of fun. People always say, "Oh just wait until your kid reaches this age..." but I'm not really dreading it. I'm happy about it. I have no reason to believe she is going to be a terror. I've known lots of teen agers who were nothing like the hairy sweaty werewolf in disguise monsters I've heard them described as. Besides, I think she knows I would kick her butt if she got too far out of line.
Oh boy.
I've Missed You
Dear Blog...
I know I've been the worst sort of blogger, you know, the kind that doesn't actually blog. I think I ran out of steam a while back, and couldn't gather the focus I needed to put anything down. BUT, I haven't given up completely. Anyway, I don't have some goal to meet here, it's just an outlet I enjoy. I love reading other people's blogs, and at the very least I do that as often as possible. Other people are so much more interesting anyway.
Today I will revisit and update some topics that I've been discussing here over the last few months. This might be incredibly boring, but you know what they say, art mimics life. Whatever! I guess I'm saying my life is boring, let's just say, it is pretty stable, and not all that exciting which can be a good thing.
1. I gave up homeschooling. I know, I know, I'm disappointed in me too, but I think I waited too long and just could not get her into it as much as I would have liked. I decided to put her back in school in January, and honestly, we are both so much happier. Everything is going to be all right. It was a big decision, but overall I think things are much better, the time we did spend with it has helped rebuild her confidence in herself, and I think she is doing so much better. The kid was miserable with homeschooling, she really wanted to be around other kids. Of course we let her have friends over and things, but it just wasn't enough.
2. My snotty neighbors who hate my dogs have been out of town for a couple of months now, since before Christmas. I imagine they are overseas since she is from Germany, I don't really care though, I'm just glad they aren't around to scorn us, and stare all the time. It's been kinda nice not having them around. We really need to get a privacy fence put up, I'm a complete idiot about these kinds of things, and my husband does not see it as important, so I don't know when that will happen. I can't really afford to have someone else do the work, so I guess I will wait until someone feels like helping with it.
3. Our family is still feeling the loss of my uncle passing in November. We miss him so much. Sometimes I think about it and say to myself, "I can't believe he's gone", but I know he is. It's been really hard for his wife. He was only 54. He really was a special person. I did not realize how many people's lives he touched. So many people were there. He was a police officer in a small town, he worked his way up to Captain of the department. Several people said that he helped them turn away from trouble and straighten up their lives. He did that just by offering advice and kind words. It all surprised me because he was such a private person, and yet so many people felt they knew him so well.
Everyone in town knew where he lived. I always thought that he should worry, that perhaps some criminal would try to bother him at home, but no one did. My dad said, "even the bad guys liked him" and it wasn't because he gave them a pass, it was because he had a way of talking people out of being idiots. In fact, he was known as a great negotiator, and could talk a crazy person out of jumping off the courthouse. There was a calmness about him even though he had his own demons. Anyway, a lot of people miss him.
4. Now that the kiddo is in school again, I've been really trying to decide what to do with all of this free time I have. I know I've got plenty of chores around the house to do, but that's not the point, I can do that stuff any time. I've practically been obsessing about what I should do. Should I go back to school? I only stopped going because I wanted to give her a shot at homeschool. Should I just give up my wild fantasies about being some powersuit wearing careerwoman and just go back to work full-time and make as much money as I can. I wouldn't make bad money working full-time, but I wouldn't be very useful the rest of the time because I'd be running hither and thither all the time and being tired from getting my ass physically kicked at work.
I mentioned going back to work full-time to my husband, and he sorta frowned. I think he likes me being off more when he is home. I hesitate because I don't want to give up that time with him. Right now I work in a trade, i.e. I went to a tradeschool to learn this. I could go to another tradeschool and learn other things that compliment what I'm doing here, and then go back to full-time next year or so. That's the other option. My work has been very slow right now, and that has made me feel insecure with the field I am in. I think it has a lot to do with the economy, and that people will start indulging more once they start feeling more secure again.
You know when people start feeling tight with money, the first thing that goes is the five dollar cup of coffee, essentially what I do is equivalent to that, although not the same thing of course, I'm not a barista, I'm just making a comparison. I've got a lot of decisions to make about that situation.
If I was to do what I really want to do, that would mean going back to college again. I did that, and it was very frustrating working, mothering, wifing, and schooling, but I was doing quite well in my classes. I really got annoyed with my philosophy instructor who used the opportunity to teach us as head game time. I guess 18 year olds have more time for that type of thing, they have a little more time on their side to repeat a course if necessary. I'm 37, I had no trouble with the material, I was good on that, it's just he kept screwing with our heads so much I couldn't take it. I ended up dropping the course and losing the money I paid for it.
The courses droned on and on, taking 16 weeks to complete. As a part-time student, taking one or two courses that pace was way too slow for me. I got the feeling I would never get done with school. I think that has to do with the age thing. I need to find a program that is faster paced than that, I did find one, it costs 4 times the amount of money as the public institutions. I couldn't afford it.
Money is an issue in this equation as well. I have to come up with tuition and books, and with my work being so slow, we've had to tighten up quite a bit. Even if I was to quit my job and throw myself into school, I don't think we could afford that. We need that bit I am bringing in to stay in balance financially. There are always new tires, or something that's needed. With him commuting the way he does, working out of state, we just can't run paycheck to paycheck the way we could if he was driving 10 miles to work at home, but the money he makes is so good it is worth it to drive that far.
We could move, but none of us wants to do that. I've offered many times to move up there, but he doesn't want to. We probably should move, but we've bought a house here, and the market is not good to sell it, we don't have enough equity in it yet, and renting the house out at the price of our mortgage is unlikely. Houses rent around here for about $900, our mortgage is $1100. And moving would mean having our daughter change school again. Neither of us wants her to have to do that. And it would mean leaving my job, and the possibility that my income wouldn't be as easily replaced up there.
But you know what, it may sound like it, but I am not all worried about all of this. I know the answer will appear in time. I'm just thinking about things, eventually the mystery will unravel and I will know what to do.
5. In case any one was wondering the puppy is getting to be a big boy. He's naughty a lot of the time, and sweet all the time. I just had to yell at him to get out of the cat box, he was actually standing in there digging around for a morsel. The cats are sitting on a table staring down at him like he is some alien life force. They pretty much hate him. He is small enough to get under my bed which is their favorite hiding place. He has been a lot of fun, and he really knows how to charm, and beg.
This post is too long. I'm ending it here. Have a wonderful day.
I know I've been the worst sort of blogger, you know, the kind that doesn't actually blog. I think I ran out of steam a while back, and couldn't gather the focus I needed to put anything down. BUT, I haven't given up completely. Anyway, I don't have some goal to meet here, it's just an outlet I enjoy. I love reading other people's blogs, and at the very least I do that as often as possible. Other people are so much more interesting anyway.
Today I will revisit and update some topics that I've been discussing here over the last few months. This might be incredibly boring, but you know what they say, art mimics life. Whatever! I guess I'm saying my life is boring, let's just say, it is pretty stable, and not all that exciting which can be a good thing.
1. I gave up homeschooling. I know, I know, I'm disappointed in me too, but I think I waited too long and just could not get her into it as much as I would have liked. I decided to put her back in school in January, and honestly, we are both so much happier. Everything is going to be all right. It was a big decision, but overall I think things are much better, the time we did spend with it has helped rebuild her confidence in herself, and I think she is doing so much better. The kid was miserable with homeschooling, she really wanted to be around other kids. Of course we let her have friends over and things, but it just wasn't enough.
2. My snotty neighbors who hate my dogs have been out of town for a couple of months now, since before Christmas. I imagine they are overseas since she is from Germany, I don't really care though, I'm just glad they aren't around to scorn us, and stare all the time. It's been kinda nice not having them around. We really need to get a privacy fence put up, I'm a complete idiot about these kinds of things, and my husband does not see it as important, so I don't know when that will happen. I can't really afford to have someone else do the work, so I guess I will wait until someone feels like helping with it.
3. Our family is still feeling the loss of my uncle passing in November. We miss him so much. Sometimes I think about it and say to myself, "I can't believe he's gone", but I know he is. It's been really hard for his wife. He was only 54. He really was a special person. I did not realize how many people's lives he touched. So many people were there. He was a police officer in a small town, he worked his way up to Captain of the department. Several people said that he helped them turn away from trouble and straighten up their lives. He did that just by offering advice and kind words. It all surprised me because he was such a private person, and yet so many people felt they knew him so well.
Everyone in town knew where he lived. I always thought that he should worry, that perhaps some criminal would try to bother him at home, but no one did. My dad said, "even the bad guys liked him" and it wasn't because he gave them a pass, it was because he had a way of talking people out of being idiots. In fact, he was known as a great negotiator, and could talk a crazy person out of jumping off the courthouse. There was a calmness about him even though he had his own demons. Anyway, a lot of people miss him.
4. Now that the kiddo is in school again, I've been really trying to decide what to do with all of this free time I have. I know I've got plenty of chores around the house to do, but that's not the point, I can do that stuff any time. I've practically been obsessing about what I should do. Should I go back to school? I only stopped going because I wanted to give her a shot at homeschool. Should I just give up my wild fantasies about being some powersuit wearing careerwoman and just go back to work full-time and make as much money as I can. I wouldn't make bad money working full-time, but I wouldn't be very useful the rest of the time because I'd be running hither and thither all the time and being tired from getting my ass physically kicked at work.
I mentioned going back to work full-time to my husband, and he sorta frowned. I think he likes me being off more when he is home. I hesitate because I don't want to give up that time with him. Right now I work in a trade, i.e. I went to a tradeschool to learn this. I could go to another tradeschool and learn other things that compliment what I'm doing here, and then go back to full-time next year or so. That's the other option. My work has been very slow right now, and that has made me feel insecure with the field I am in. I think it has a lot to do with the economy, and that people will start indulging more once they start feeling more secure again.
You know when people start feeling tight with money, the first thing that goes is the five dollar cup of coffee, essentially what I do is equivalent to that, although not the same thing of course, I'm not a barista, I'm just making a comparison. I've got a lot of decisions to make about that situation.
If I was to do what I really want to do, that would mean going back to college again. I did that, and it was very frustrating working, mothering, wifing, and schooling, but I was doing quite well in my classes. I really got annoyed with my philosophy instructor who used the opportunity to teach us as head game time. I guess 18 year olds have more time for that type of thing, they have a little more time on their side to repeat a course if necessary. I'm 37, I had no trouble with the material, I was good on that, it's just he kept screwing with our heads so much I couldn't take it. I ended up dropping the course and losing the money I paid for it.
The courses droned on and on, taking 16 weeks to complete. As a part-time student, taking one or two courses that pace was way too slow for me. I got the feeling I would never get done with school. I think that has to do with the age thing. I need to find a program that is faster paced than that, I did find one, it costs 4 times the amount of money as the public institutions. I couldn't afford it.
Money is an issue in this equation as well. I have to come up with tuition and books, and with my work being so slow, we've had to tighten up quite a bit. Even if I was to quit my job and throw myself into school, I don't think we could afford that. We need that bit I am bringing in to stay in balance financially. There are always new tires, or something that's needed. With him commuting the way he does, working out of state, we just can't run paycheck to paycheck the way we could if he was driving 10 miles to work at home, but the money he makes is so good it is worth it to drive that far.
We could move, but none of us wants to do that. I've offered many times to move up there, but he doesn't want to. We probably should move, but we've bought a house here, and the market is not good to sell it, we don't have enough equity in it yet, and renting the house out at the price of our mortgage is unlikely. Houses rent around here for about $900, our mortgage is $1100. And moving would mean having our daughter change school again. Neither of us wants her to have to do that. And it would mean leaving my job, and the possibility that my income wouldn't be as easily replaced up there.
But you know what, it may sound like it, but I am not all worried about all of this. I know the answer will appear in time. I'm just thinking about things, eventually the mystery will unravel and I will know what to do.
5. In case any one was wondering the puppy is getting to be a big boy. He's naughty a lot of the time, and sweet all the time. I just had to yell at him to get out of the cat box, he was actually standing in there digging around for a morsel. The cats are sitting on a table staring down at him like he is some alien life force. They pretty much hate him. He is small enough to get under my bed which is their favorite hiding place. He has been a lot of fun, and he really knows how to charm, and beg.
This post is too long. I'm ending it here. Have a wonderful day.
Friday, February 15, 2008
One Day
At The Wal-Mart Store.
I finally managed to get my sister out to the store, she hates going places with big crowds, but never the less I somehow conned her into going to the wal-mart with me. Mind you, it never fails that we end up there on Friday evening and when we get into the parking lot one of us always says, "Where the heck did all of these people come from?!?" Of course, Friday's being a popular pay day among many employers pretty much guarantees that all of creation will be out trying to get something decent for dinner, a new pillow, or some shampoo.
So there we were walking past the bra/underwear/lingerie/pajama section, and it being close to Valentine's Day and all there were several fancy little lingerie numbers strategically placed as to remind women that they need to get some new fancy underwears. I pointed one out, and predictably suggested that my sister not forget to get her new dealy do, and then I said, "Hey, remember when mom bought that really skanky lingerie at K-Mart, and how shocked we were, but we had to pretend like we didn't see it?"
My sister laughed really hard because she remembered the piece, it was a red baby doll type thing with lots and lots of fringes, mom just picked it up all non-chalant and put it in the basket, and gave us a "I dare you to make one comment out of line" look.
Remembering the moment vividly my sister said, "I can't believe mom bought that!" And without thinking anything of it I said, "yeah, she had a whole bunch of different lingerie and see through night gowns, garter belts, crotchless panties, all sorts of stuff!"
My sister says, "how do you know that?" I said, "Well I used to try it all on when mom and dad weren't home." My sister died laughing. I mean, she snorted. Then I realized that perhaps some kids don't try on their mother's lingerie, I assumed she had done the same thing, but no, I was wrong. We had a good laugh about.
Oddly enough I've never really been into lingerie type stuff as an adult. When we got married, I received a few things that would make a hooker blush as wedding gifts. I remember one night a couple of years after we were married I dug some of it out when hubby and I were sitting around, and started modelling it, and I know this sounds sad, but we laughed our butts off about it. I mean he and I really cracked up. I guess we're not mature enough to handle lingerie or something. I think I gave it to Goodwill.
Thankfully I don't know if mom ever wore that stuff, and it has been almost 30 years since I was a little brat snooping around my mom's room, so I don't know if she even still has any of it. I do know my mom had a much better figure for wearing that type of stuff than I ever have, so I guess they probably had some good times with it. I don't EVEN want to go there.
I finally managed to get my sister out to the store, she hates going places with big crowds, but never the less I somehow conned her into going to the wal-mart with me. Mind you, it never fails that we end up there on Friday evening and when we get into the parking lot one of us always says, "Where the heck did all of these people come from?!?" Of course, Friday's being a popular pay day among many employers pretty much guarantees that all of creation will be out trying to get something decent for dinner, a new pillow, or some shampoo.
So there we were walking past the bra/underwear/lingerie/pajama section, and it being close to Valentine's Day and all there were several fancy little lingerie numbers strategically placed as to remind women that they need to get some new fancy underwears. I pointed one out, and predictably suggested that my sister not forget to get her new dealy do, and then I said, "Hey, remember when mom bought that really skanky lingerie at K-Mart, and how shocked we were, but we had to pretend like we didn't see it?"
My sister laughed really hard because she remembered the piece, it was a red baby doll type thing with lots and lots of fringes, mom just picked it up all non-chalant and put it in the basket, and gave us a "I dare you to make one comment out of line" look.
Remembering the moment vividly my sister said, "I can't believe mom bought that!" And without thinking anything of it I said, "yeah, she had a whole bunch of different lingerie and see through night gowns, garter belts, crotchless panties, all sorts of stuff!"
My sister says, "how do you know that?" I said, "Well I used to try it all on when mom and dad weren't home." My sister died laughing. I mean, she snorted. Then I realized that perhaps some kids don't try on their mother's lingerie, I assumed she had done the same thing, but no, I was wrong. We had a good laugh about.
Oddly enough I've never really been into lingerie type stuff as an adult. When we got married, I received a few things that would make a hooker blush as wedding gifts. I remember one night a couple of years after we were married I dug some of it out when hubby and I were sitting around, and started modelling it, and I know this sounds sad, but we laughed our butts off about it. I mean he and I really cracked up. I guess we're not mature enough to handle lingerie or something. I think I gave it to Goodwill.
Thankfully I don't know if mom ever wore that stuff, and it has been almost 30 years since I was a little brat snooping around my mom's room, so I don't know if she even still has any of it. I do know my mom had a much better figure for wearing that type of stuff than I ever have, so I guess they probably had some good times with it. I don't EVEN want to go there.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Fred! Fred! He's Our Man...
Rudy! Rudy! He's Our Man...
Gah! Man, bummer about Fred. I was going to vote for him. Oh well, if I had to vote today, I would vote for Rudy. Because, I just like him. I was originally pulling for Rudy until I fell in love with the smooth talking Fred. Fred just said things right, things I agreed with, and the media virtually ignored him a lot of the time, and well let's face it, he did not run an interesting campaign at all, even though he was very good in the debates.
In the primary, I'm voting my conscience, or as close to it as possible, that means I won't vote for McCain. I just don't like his ways. He is the last person I would vote for. Ok, Romney, so far has not moved me one iota, although I like him substantially more than I do McCain. If it comes down to McCain/Romney ticket, I think I will hurl toe nails.
As nasty as things are getting between Hillary, and Obama, and I have to admit it is almost as enjoyable to watch as any other reality t.v. show where snotty remarks and pot shots are common place, a Hillary/Obama ticket doesn't seem likely at this point. And, has anyone ever considered what would happen if Hillary chose her hubby as V.P.? Hehe. I don't even know if that is allowed, but would be interesting.
It would be nice if all the states held their primaries, or caucuses or what ever on the same day. It is pretty discouraging to watch candidates drop out after losing in one state before the rest of the country even has a chance to vote for them.
Oh well. That's all the time I can spend on this right now. Regardless, there is still plenty of speculating, calculating and assuming to go around without my little scribblings here.
Gah! Man, bummer about Fred. I was going to vote for him. Oh well, if I had to vote today, I would vote for Rudy. Because, I just like him. I was originally pulling for Rudy until I fell in love with the smooth talking Fred. Fred just said things right, things I agreed with, and the media virtually ignored him a lot of the time, and well let's face it, he did not run an interesting campaign at all, even though he was very good in the debates.
In the primary, I'm voting my conscience, or as close to it as possible, that means I won't vote for McCain. I just don't like his ways. He is the last person I would vote for. Ok, Romney, so far has not moved me one iota, although I like him substantially more than I do McCain. If it comes down to McCain/Romney ticket, I think I will hurl toe nails.
As nasty as things are getting between Hillary, and Obama, and I have to admit it is almost as enjoyable to watch as any other reality t.v. show where snotty remarks and pot shots are common place, a Hillary/Obama ticket doesn't seem likely at this point. And, has anyone ever considered what would happen if Hillary chose her hubby as V.P.? Hehe. I don't even know if that is allowed, but would be interesting.
It would be nice if all the states held their primaries, or caucuses or what ever on the same day. It is pretty discouraging to watch candidates drop out after losing in one state before the rest of the country even has a chance to vote for them.
Oh well. That's all the time I can spend on this right now. Regardless, there is still plenty of speculating, calculating and assuming to go around without my little scribblings here.
Monday, January 14, 2008
I'm Bad
I Know It.
It is terrible how lazy I am about posting. What can you truly expect from someone who won't even shovel their driveway when it snows? Huh? I mean really. Well, the ironic thing about that post is after I wrote it, the next day on the news they were talking about how the city was actually ticketing people who do not shovel the snow off the sidewalks in front of their houses. I mean for goodness sakes. The report stated that over 300 people had been ticketed, and that police were doing their best to get as many violators as possible. They went on to add that if people didn't do it, then the city sends someone to do it, and the owner of the property is fined/ie charged to pay for the "service".
I imagined 75 year old widows out there shovelling the snow in front of their homes in 18 degree weather to avoid being ticketed. I mean really for goodness sakes. Granted I'm no 75 year old widow and therefore do not deserve any sympathy in this plight, but still.
It snows here for goodness sakes, but people act silly about it. Seriously, as soon as a flake falls the stores are completely cleaned out of bread, milk, and cheese. I'm no better, I too feel an overriding urge to get out there and stock up on groceries when it snows. I think it is a herd instinct or something.
Well, that's about all I've got for now. Sad I know, but I'll be back eventually. :)
It is terrible how lazy I am about posting. What can you truly expect from someone who won't even shovel their driveway when it snows? Huh? I mean really. Well, the ironic thing about that post is after I wrote it, the next day on the news they were talking about how the city was actually ticketing people who do not shovel the snow off the sidewalks in front of their houses. I mean for goodness sakes. The report stated that over 300 people had been ticketed, and that police were doing their best to get as many violators as possible. They went on to add that if people didn't do it, then the city sends someone to do it, and the owner of the property is fined/ie charged to pay for the "service".
I imagined 75 year old widows out there shovelling the snow in front of their homes in 18 degree weather to avoid being ticketed. I mean really for goodness sakes. Granted I'm no 75 year old widow and therefore do not deserve any sympathy in this plight, but still.
It snows here for goodness sakes, but people act silly about it. Seriously, as soon as a flake falls the stores are completely cleaned out of bread, milk, and cheese. I'm no better, I too feel an overriding urge to get out there and stock up on groceries when it snows. I think it is a herd instinct or something.
Well, that's about all I've got for now. Sad I know, but I'll be back eventually. :)
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Bleh
Bleh Bleh Bleh.
I'm sick. I wrote a whole post, and without even thinking deleted it, or maybe it got saved as a draft, hmm, I should check that, but I don't care, the post was blah anyway.
I'm over my moody Fall blah's, and have been in such a better mood since the new year started, all except for being sick right now. Last night I took some type of syrup that should have made me tired, but made me jittery, and I could not sleep, so I got up and went down and sat on the couch where I fell asleep immediately and slept fine, I just couldn't sleep in my bed for some reason. My legs were restless, but would calm down when I went to sleep on the couch.
Overall it was a lousy night of sleep. It feels like there is a sock stuck up the left side of my nose. It is quite uncomfortable. Nothing feels good, it's like being hungry, but nothing satisfies, or being tired, but unable to sleep. Overall I'm restless, but tired and head achy. It sucks.
I think I had at least 10 people expose me to this junk before my immunity finally gave in and dropped long enough for me to catch it. People, stay home when you are sick for goodness sakes. So, thank you everyone who would not stay home and rest when you were sick.
Ah well, such is life. I've been avoiding my mom and sister as both have lowered immune systems and I don't want to infect them with anything. I hope it works.
I can't wait to breath out of my nose again. That will be nice. For 2 solid days my left nostral has been stuffed up, and completely closed off. It is starting to drive me nuts I think. The headache that goes with this thing is not so fun. Nothing seems to help much medicine wise, I hope I don't end up needing anti-biotics, I don't feel like going to the Dr.
AND, I am scheduled to work tomorrow. I don't know if I will call in or not yet. I will see how I feel this afternoon. Right now the last thing I want to do is touch anyone, what with my complaining about people going out when they are sick, it seems sort of hypocritical of me.
I rarely call in, so it's not like I will be frowned upon for doing so. I only do it when I absolutely have to. I don't work with papers, so I can't go in an cough on my papers, since I work with people I have to be a bit more considerate of them. The rate this thing is moving, I could see myself being out the whole weekend, and that's just not cool. Gawd I hate being sick.
There now, isn't this a wonderful inspiring post if you ever did see one? Wow. I can't believe I am going to post this.
I'm sick. I wrote a whole post, and without even thinking deleted it, or maybe it got saved as a draft, hmm, I should check that, but I don't care, the post was blah anyway.
I'm over my moody Fall blah's, and have been in such a better mood since the new year started, all except for being sick right now. Last night I took some type of syrup that should have made me tired, but made me jittery, and I could not sleep, so I got up and went down and sat on the couch where I fell asleep immediately and slept fine, I just couldn't sleep in my bed for some reason. My legs were restless, but would calm down when I went to sleep on the couch.
Overall it was a lousy night of sleep. It feels like there is a sock stuck up the left side of my nose. It is quite uncomfortable. Nothing feels good, it's like being hungry, but nothing satisfies, or being tired, but unable to sleep. Overall I'm restless, but tired and head achy. It sucks.
I think I had at least 10 people expose me to this junk before my immunity finally gave in and dropped long enough for me to catch it. People, stay home when you are sick for goodness sakes. So, thank you everyone who would not stay home and rest when you were sick.
Ah well, such is life. I've been avoiding my mom and sister as both have lowered immune systems and I don't want to infect them with anything. I hope it works.
I can't wait to breath out of my nose again. That will be nice. For 2 solid days my left nostral has been stuffed up, and completely closed off. It is starting to drive me nuts I think. The headache that goes with this thing is not so fun. Nothing seems to help much medicine wise, I hope I don't end up needing anti-biotics, I don't feel like going to the Dr.
AND, I am scheduled to work tomorrow. I don't know if I will call in or not yet. I will see how I feel this afternoon. Right now the last thing I want to do is touch anyone, what with my complaining about people going out when they are sick, it seems sort of hypocritical of me.
I rarely call in, so it's not like I will be frowned upon for doing so. I only do it when I absolutely have to. I don't work with papers, so I can't go in an cough on my papers, since I work with people I have to be a bit more considerate of them. The rate this thing is moving, I could see myself being out the whole weekend, and that's just not cool. Gawd I hate being sick.
There now, isn't this a wonderful inspiring post if you ever did see one? Wow. I can't believe I am going to post this.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
A Few Things
Just Have to Talk About These Things.
First, I've wondered this for quite some time, why is it as soon as it snows people feel this overwhelming compulsion to get out there and shovel for 6 hours just to clear off driveways and side walks? I don't understand it. The other day my neighbor did just that, he shovelled and even got out his four wheeler with a scoop attached to the front of it, and cleared sidewalks, and the snotty fat German lady's driveway across the street, and I noticed he did not do ours, but did other people's, but whatever. I did not expect him to, but it did sort of make me wonder if he hated us too. Hehe. Anyway, he was out there literally all day messing around with that snow, and shovelling like mad.
When it is 18 degrees outside, the last thing I want to do is go out there and shovel snow. I did it the other day though, I vainly took that red shovel and got out there and cleared as much as I could before I froze to death. Did it help? No. Our driveway is so huge it would take me forever to get it cleared.
As I shovelled I noticed others around the neighborhood laboring over this snow. Old men out there shovelling and shovelling away, and I thought, criminy, why do old people go out and shovel the snow, people drop dead of heart attacks in their driveways trying to move mountains of this stuff, for goodness sakes the first few sunny days are going to melt most if not all of it away anyway. It seems silly to me. It really does. I've heard people say, "well if someone comes along and slips on the sidewalk, they can sue you." Well shit, let 'em try then. I hate shovelling snow, and I have a darn good reason for it, I did it for 6 hours straight one day.
Yep, my friend and I when we were about oh, 20 years old, we needed some extra cash, and honestly, who doesn't at that age, so we decided to head to this day laborer place, and see if we could get a job cleaning motel rooms for the day or something, which is what she had heard they would send us to do. Well, the day we chose to take this little adventure, it snowed, and when we got to the place, the only work they had to offer was for people to go out to various businesses and shovel snow. When our time came we stepped up to the counter, and the man sitting there looked at us and practically busted out laughing in our faces.
He said, "I don't have anything for you two, it's just snow shovelling today" well, we got our little feminist egos in a bunch and said, "We can shovel snow just as good as any man!" He smirked and said "fine, go see so and so, at X Apartment complex and work for him, but I have to tell you, he's going to be really mad at me for sending him a couple of girls!" Ha! "Well, we'll show him!" We said, and we were off.
On the way to the apartment complex we decided we would do our very best, and "prove" something to those bastards. When we found the old man running the place, he and his younger assistant laughed and said, "I can't believe he sent us a couple of girls" he seemed rather disappointed, but we assured him we would do a good job. The apartment complex was enormous, and our task was to shovel all the stairways, and sidewalks around them, they worked on the sidewalks connecting everything. Each building had 4 sets of stairways going up 3 flights or so, and I swear there were 2o buildings. We shovelled and shovelled, and after about 3 or 4 hours the old man said, "go take a 30 minute lunch break" I'm sure he might have thought we would not come back, but we did. I don't think it crossed our mind not to go back and finish the job.
All told the job was supposed to take 8 hours, but we finished it in 6, and I'm not lying, the old man said, "you two girls did better than any man they have ever sent out here to work, no one ever got this done in 6 hours before." We headed back to the day labor place to gloat in the man's face. Sure enough when we arrived he said, "Hey, they were very impressed with you two girls." We got our wages, which stupidly enough was for 6 hours rather than 8. We kicked ourselves for finishing too fast, but were still pleased that "we showed them". After that we went home and died.
Well, it felt like we died. My arms and shoulders were so sore, I could not lift them. I think I slept for 12 hours straight after that. We never went back to the day laborer place again. It was not worth it one single bit. I think we made about 25 dollars for that work. Totally not worth it. To this day, I hate shovelling snow with a passion. Hate it. That's why I have a 4 wheel drive, I just drive right out of the driveway right over it. I know it's not good to leave it on the concrete for a long time, but I just don't care. Because I use my arms and shoulders so much in my job, I honestly don't have it in me to shovel snow and stuff like I used to. Just doesn't seem worth it to me.
I'm sure some people might be absolutely appalled at my idea, and I know it is quite rebellious of me, and perhaps even makes me a bad citizen in some eyes, but really, I think if someone wants the sidewalk shovelled, then they have no right to expect me to provide the free labor to do it for them. I don't own the sidewalk afterall, and if I DID own it, shouldn't I have the right to choose NOT to shovel it, or to even allow people to walk on it if I were such inclined? This whole argument comes from the guilt my father instilled in me as a child, every time it snowed he had that driveway and sidewalk cleared ASAP, I even helped with that many many times, and would do so without even being asked. I never once stopped to think, why are we doing this? We just did it.
Well my parent's driveway was sloped, so if the snow were allowed to freeze up and turn to ice, it made it extremely difficult to get into the driveway, so that makes sense from a practical standpoint. My driveway on the other hand is 3 times the size of my parent's and it is not sloped in the least, but quite flat, and shaded so snow and ice stay there forever, or at least until we get enough sunny and warm days to melt it off.
I'm tired, coming down with something, this post went no where, but I'll go ahead and put it up anyway. More later.
First, I've wondered this for quite some time, why is it as soon as it snows people feel this overwhelming compulsion to get out there and shovel for 6 hours just to clear off driveways and side walks? I don't understand it. The other day my neighbor did just that, he shovelled and even got out his four wheeler with a scoop attached to the front of it, and cleared sidewalks, and the snotty fat German lady's driveway across the street, and I noticed he did not do ours, but did other people's, but whatever. I did not expect him to, but it did sort of make me wonder if he hated us too. Hehe. Anyway, he was out there literally all day messing around with that snow, and shovelling like mad.
When it is 18 degrees outside, the last thing I want to do is go out there and shovel snow. I did it the other day though, I vainly took that red shovel and got out there and cleared as much as I could before I froze to death. Did it help? No. Our driveway is so huge it would take me forever to get it cleared.
As I shovelled I noticed others around the neighborhood laboring over this snow. Old men out there shovelling and shovelling away, and I thought, criminy, why do old people go out and shovel the snow, people drop dead of heart attacks in their driveways trying to move mountains of this stuff, for goodness sakes the first few sunny days are going to melt most if not all of it away anyway. It seems silly to me. It really does. I've heard people say, "well if someone comes along and slips on the sidewalk, they can sue you." Well shit, let 'em try then. I hate shovelling snow, and I have a darn good reason for it, I did it for 6 hours straight one day.
Yep, my friend and I when we were about oh, 20 years old, we needed some extra cash, and honestly, who doesn't at that age, so we decided to head to this day laborer place, and see if we could get a job cleaning motel rooms for the day or something, which is what she had heard they would send us to do. Well, the day we chose to take this little adventure, it snowed, and when we got to the place, the only work they had to offer was for people to go out to various businesses and shovel snow. When our time came we stepped up to the counter, and the man sitting there looked at us and practically busted out laughing in our faces.
He said, "I don't have anything for you two, it's just snow shovelling today" well, we got our little feminist egos in a bunch and said, "We can shovel snow just as good as any man!" He smirked and said "fine, go see so and so, at X Apartment complex and work for him, but I have to tell you, he's going to be really mad at me for sending him a couple of girls!" Ha! "Well, we'll show him!" We said, and we were off.
On the way to the apartment complex we decided we would do our very best, and "prove" something to those bastards. When we found the old man running the place, he and his younger assistant laughed and said, "I can't believe he sent us a couple of girls" he seemed rather disappointed, but we assured him we would do a good job. The apartment complex was enormous, and our task was to shovel all the stairways, and sidewalks around them, they worked on the sidewalks connecting everything. Each building had 4 sets of stairways going up 3 flights or so, and I swear there were 2o buildings. We shovelled and shovelled, and after about 3 or 4 hours the old man said, "go take a 30 minute lunch break" I'm sure he might have thought we would not come back, but we did. I don't think it crossed our mind not to go back and finish the job.
All told the job was supposed to take 8 hours, but we finished it in 6, and I'm not lying, the old man said, "you two girls did better than any man they have ever sent out here to work, no one ever got this done in 6 hours before." We headed back to the day labor place to gloat in the man's face. Sure enough when we arrived he said, "Hey, they were very impressed with you two girls." We got our wages, which stupidly enough was for 6 hours rather than 8. We kicked ourselves for finishing too fast, but were still pleased that "we showed them". After that we went home and died.
Well, it felt like we died. My arms and shoulders were so sore, I could not lift them. I think I slept for 12 hours straight after that. We never went back to the day laborer place again. It was not worth it one single bit. I think we made about 25 dollars for that work. Totally not worth it. To this day, I hate shovelling snow with a passion. Hate it. That's why I have a 4 wheel drive, I just drive right out of the driveway right over it. I know it's not good to leave it on the concrete for a long time, but I just don't care. Because I use my arms and shoulders so much in my job, I honestly don't have it in me to shovel snow and stuff like I used to. Just doesn't seem worth it to me.
I'm sure some people might be absolutely appalled at my idea, and I know it is quite rebellious of me, and perhaps even makes me a bad citizen in some eyes, but really, I think if someone wants the sidewalk shovelled, then they have no right to expect me to provide the free labor to do it for them. I don't own the sidewalk afterall, and if I DID own it, shouldn't I have the right to choose NOT to shovel it, or to even allow people to walk on it if I were such inclined? This whole argument comes from the guilt my father instilled in me as a child, every time it snowed he had that driveway and sidewalk cleared ASAP, I even helped with that many many times, and would do so without even being asked. I never once stopped to think, why are we doing this? We just did it.
Well my parent's driveway was sloped, so if the snow were allowed to freeze up and turn to ice, it made it extremely difficult to get into the driveway, so that makes sense from a practical standpoint. My driveway on the other hand is 3 times the size of my parent's and it is not sloped in the least, but quite flat, and shaded so snow and ice stay there forever, or at least until we get enough sunny and warm days to melt it off.
I'm tired, coming down with something, this post went no where, but I'll go ahead and put it up anyway. More later.
Friday, January 04, 2008
Friday, December 28, 2007
The New Year
Reflection.
I know I'm not alone when it comes to this time of year, many people spend time reflecting on the year that has passed, and supposing what sort of things they can accomplish with a brand spankin' new year at their feet. This is a time when I think of all the possibilities, all of the things we can do. Sure, we could do this on any day of the year, but the coming new year is a good reminder for people like me who tend to procrastinate about everything.
I suppose I could start with not procrastinating so much, but we all know that is not practical, or ever going to happen. So let's just mark that right off the list. I think the biggest thing to accomplish this year would be to get our finances under control. We have become very lax on our spending, and we have bought things on credit which is a big no no in my opinion. Definitely going to tighten up the budget this year, and pay some things off.
Among other things, I would like to do some projects around the house. I really want to get a privacy fence installed in the back yard. When the weather is warmer, I can leave the dogs out more often during the day when I am at work.
I have a vision in my mind of our upstairs bathroom, I want to take out the funky 80's cabinet that the sink sits on and replace the sink with something more classic, and ageless, and less bulky. In doing so, I suspect that I will also want to replace the linoleum, and perhaps even the stupid toilet that has to be flushed 3 times to get rid of one little turd.
The tile in the tub/shower is some funky 70's stuff, but overall it is in good condition, I just don't care too much for the robin's egg blue color, but I see no need to replace it. It really just needs fresh grout and caulking. The point of tile is that it lasts darn near forever, styles and fads shouldn't necessarily be a good reason to replace it if it is not damaged. All that and a coat of paint would make it a much nicer place to umm, use. Oh, and I would like to put glass shower doors in, instead of having a nasty shower curtain.
Sounds pretty reasonable huh? Well, it will probably cost a lot, and did I mention we've let our finances go to the birds? But I will deal with that issue soon.
The other thing I would like to do, and I know it won't happen this year, or probably in the next few years, is get rid of this awful berber carpet, and put in either wood floors, which I don't care so much for, or nice new carpet. I just don't like wood floors, but I guess people do, and what I really want to do is sell this house in a few years and I think wood floors are more popular now than carpet. I would also like to tile the kitchen floor, well, really my husband and I would both love to tear the whole thing up and start over, but that's not practical.
One thing at a time here. I'm getting carried away.
We're still working on homeschooling, and making slow progress. I know we are doing the right thing, it just isn't always easy. We will continue with that and eventually I am hoping she will be able to work more independently with some of it, but we're not at that point yet. I would like to work more, and go back to full-time, but I just can't right now.
I truly cannot wait for warmer weather. When it is cold all of the time, I don't like to be outside at all. I really love something about each season, but lately I've been more drawn to the warmer seasons because I have really started to love working outside in the yard. When it comes to shovelling snow, or pulling weeds, I'll take weed pulling any day. Of course when it is 100 degrees on my back porch, I will be longing for snow flurries.
Honestly, I can't wait to see if my roses come back in all of their glory this spring, and I'm really wondering how my mums will do. I am hoping the trees we planted start to look a little less like twigs, and a lot more like trees. I planted them last year, now I just have to wait and see if it was a success.
Oh sure, I need to lose weight and quit smoking and cussing. I'm thinking of these things too, but I don't really want to talk about them. We'll just see.
I know I'm not alone when it comes to this time of year, many people spend time reflecting on the year that has passed, and supposing what sort of things they can accomplish with a brand spankin' new year at their feet. This is a time when I think of all the possibilities, all of the things we can do. Sure, we could do this on any day of the year, but the coming new year is a good reminder for people like me who tend to procrastinate about everything.
I suppose I could start with not procrastinating so much, but we all know that is not practical, or ever going to happen. So let's just mark that right off the list. I think the biggest thing to accomplish this year would be to get our finances under control. We have become very lax on our spending, and we have bought things on credit which is a big no no in my opinion. Definitely going to tighten up the budget this year, and pay some things off.
Among other things, I would like to do some projects around the house. I really want to get a privacy fence installed in the back yard. When the weather is warmer, I can leave the dogs out more often during the day when I am at work.
I have a vision in my mind of our upstairs bathroom, I want to take out the funky 80's cabinet that the sink sits on and replace the sink with something more classic, and ageless, and less bulky. In doing so, I suspect that I will also want to replace the linoleum, and perhaps even the stupid toilet that has to be flushed 3 times to get rid of one little turd.
The tile in the tub/shower is some funky 70's stuff, but overall it is in good condition, I just don't care too much for the robin's egg blue color, but I see no need to replace it. It really just needs fresh grout and caulking. The point of tile is that it lasts darn near forever, styles and fads shouldn't necessarily be a good reason to replace it if it is not damaged. All that and a coat of paint would make it a much nicer place to umm, use. Oh, and I would like to put glass shower doors in, instead of having a nasty shower curtain.
Sounds pretty reasonable huh? Well, it will probably cost a lot, and did I mention we've let our finances go to the birds? But I will deal with that issue soon.
The other thing I would like to do, and I know it won't happen this year, or probably in the next few years, is get rid of this awful berber carpet, and put in either wood floors, which I don't care so much for, or nice new carpet. I just don't like wood floors, but I guess people do, and what I really want to do is sell this house in a few years and I think wood floors are more popular now than carpet. I would also like to tile the kitchen floor, well, really my husband and I would both love to tear the whole thing up and start over, but that's not practical.
One thing at a time here. I'm getting carried away.
We're still working on homeschooling, and making slow progress. I know we are doing the right thing, it just isn't always easy. We will continue with that and eventually I am hoping she will be able to work more independently with some of it, but we're not at that point yet. I would like to work more, and go back to full-time, but I just can't right now.
I truly cannot wait for warmer weather. When it is cold all of the time, I don't like to be outside at all. I really love something about each season, but lately I've been more drawn to the warmer seasons because I have really started to love working outside in the yard. When it comes to shovelling snow, or pulling weeds, I'll take weed pulling any day. Of course when it is 100 degrees on my back porch, I will be longing for snow flurries.
Honestly, I can't wait to see if my roses come back in all of their glory this spring, and I'm really wondering how my mums will do. I am hoping the trees we planted start to look a little less like twigs, and a lot more like trees. I planted them last year, now I just have to wait and see if it was a success.
Oh sure, I need to lose weight and quit smoking and cussing. I'm thinking of these things too, but I don't really want to talk about them. We'll just see.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Did You Have a Merry Christmas?
Ours Was Good.
This time of year when many people are taking more time off, are trying to get out of the office a little earlier, and are taking trips away from home to visit with loved ones, I am usually doing just the opposite, I am working more, I am spending less time at home, and there is no way I could get time off to go anywhere. Luckily most everyone is right here close by so that really helps. It is this time of year when try as I might, I have to fight really hard not to get too moody and blue. The truth is, getting Christmas off where I work is not an easy task, and so for the last 3 years in a row, I have worked that day.
I would be lying if I did not say this bothered me quite a lot. It does. In fact, it has completely affected the way my family, and I celebrate the holidays. I usually don't get any of the major 3 holidays off, that means no Thanksgiving, no Christmas Eve, or day, and no New Year's Eve, or day. This year I got Thanksgiving off, it was nice, but it went too fast, and we were all a bit more reserved as we are still feeling grief over losing my uncle such a short time ago.
As Christmas approached, I found myself feeling more and more resentful about working the day. I rationalized with myself, went over all of the arguments as to why I must not let it get to me. I reasoned that it is just a date, the spirit of things is what really matters. I told myself, I must do this, it is part of my job, and I like my job the rest of the year, so overall it is worth it. I convinced myself that we could do things a little before, or a little after, and that it will be just fine. All of those reasoned arguments meant nothing because I honestly resented the fact that I have to work the holidays.
I resented other's getting the holidays off to spend with their friends and families drinking eggnog and eating homemade breads and cookies while listening to Christmas carols, and laughing together while reliving old memories, and seeing the lights and the magic of Christmas reflected in the children's eyes. I missed that our little family did not all get up together on Christmas morning and sit in the living room in our pajamas while our daughter opened up her bounty of gifts, and then head over to my parent's house to spend the rest of the day.
I truly felt bad that I did not get a lot of Christmas shopping done, and was not able to get all of the gifts on my list because I just ran out of time, and/or money before the day rolled around. It was quite upsetting to me that I didn't get around to doing any baking, or making special things to eat without guilt this time of year.
The sad reality is, I spent most of this holiday season feeling shafted, annoyed, and disappointed. I know that is not how it is supposed to be. After feeling like that when the day actually rolled around, I was no longer upset about it, I just didn't care anymore. I had already given our daughter all of her gifts. Everything was done, all that was left was for me to go to work, and by that time, I went and it was like any other day, in fact, I even quite enjoyed working that day because everyone I worked with was extra special nice, and we all brought in little goodies to share so it was good.
The really ironic thing was, I got into it with my manager the day before Christmas Eve because they extended my schedule, and I went into her office and said, "Hey, I'm working Christmas Eve, and day, I don't think it is fair to extend my time here even more than that, isn't there any other way to do this?" We actually had plans to meet people for dinner right after I got off work, so I was a bit put out. Well, she snapped back at me, and we didn't have a pleasant exchange. I am usually not so outspoken with management, but I was really feeling emotional about it all. Later that night I felt bad for approaching her that way, and decided I would apologize.
The next day I went to her office and said, "I am really sorry for snapping at you, it is just this time of year, and working the holidays, and honestly, if you had just asked and said, "We really need you to do this for us," and shown some empathy about it, I would not have been so upset. She apologized for coming across as cold, and admitted to me that she has developed a tough skin because she has to hear it all the time about people working on the holidays, and that she wanted to be home with her family too. We had a good talk about it all, and I realized I was being a big baby about it all. I admitted that I had not really put myself in her shoes, and was only thinking of myself, and suddenly after that, I felt so much better about working that day.
It turns out business was going to be slower than projected on Christmas day, so on Christmas eve she said she was going to take volunteers of people to work on Christmas day first, and then she would decide who would get to be off out of who didn't volunteer to work. Believe it or not, after all of my fussing, and complaining, I went ahead and volunteered to work afterall. I realized that I didn't have any plans on Christmas day anyway because we had already given our daughter her gifts, and we would most likely just go over to my parent's house and eat when I got off work as originally planned.
And you know, I felt strangely good about doing that. One of my co-workers is a single mom with two children under 4, and she really wanted to be home with them, she was so excited that she was going to be off afterall, she said she wasn't going to tell anyone, but just surprise them when she didn't go to work. There were others who I am sure were extremely grateful that they got that call on Christmas Eve telling them they were off the next day.
So, all in all, it worked out fine. We ate with my parents when I got off, and it was a good day, and I think I have finally overcome that hurdle of resentment about working the holidays, which is a good thing because it is part of my job, and I have to accept it. Christmas is a happy and joyous time, that's what it should be about. I think it is hard for some people to put on a happy face and act festive when they don't truly feel that, and there are many reasons they might not. I've been a grinch the past few years because I couldn't do things my way, but I am hoping I have truly let all of that go. I know how to do it now I think.
Anyway, hope you had a good one, and had many reasons to be Merry. Let's all have a Happy New Year, huh?
This time of year when many people are taking more time off, are trying to get out of the office a little earlier, and are taking trips away from home to visit with loved ones, I am usually doing just the opposite, I am working more, I am spending less time at home, and there is no way I could get time off to go anywhere. Luckily most everyone is right here close by so that really helps. It is this time of year when try as I might, I have to fight really hard not to get too moody and blue. The truth is, getting Christmas off where I work is not an easy task, and so for the last 3 years in a row, I have worked that day.
I would be lying if I did not say this bothered me quite a lot. It does. In fact, it has completely affected the way my family, and I celebrate the holidays. I usually don't get any of the major 3 holidays off, that means no Thanksgiving, no Christmas Eve, or day, and no New Year's Eve, or day. This year I got Thanksgiving off, it was nice, but it went too fast, and we were all a bit more reserved as we are still feeling grief over losing my uncle such a short time ago.
As Christmas approached, I found myself feeling more and more resentful about working the day. I rationalized with myself, went over all of the arguments as to why I must not let it get to me. I reasoned that it is just a date, the spirit of things is what really matters. I told myself, I must do this, it is part of my job, and I like my job the rest of the year, so overall it is worth it. I convinced myself that we could do things a little before, or a little after, and that it will be just fine. All of those reasoned arguments meant nothing because I honestly resented the fact that I have to work the holidays.
I resented other's getting the holidays off to spend with their friends and families drinking eggnog and eating homemade breads and cookies while listening to Christmas carols, and laughing together while reliving old memories, and seeing the lights and the magic of Christmas reflected in the children's eyes. I missed that our little family did not all get up together on Christmas morning and sit in the living room in our pajamas while our daughter opened up her bounty of gifts, and then head over to my parent's house to spend the rest of the day.
I truly felt bad that I did not get a lot of Christmas shopping done, and was not able to get all of the gifts on my list because I just ran out of time, and/or money before the day rolled around. It was quite upsetting to me that I didn't get around to doing any baking, or making special things to eat without guilt this time of year.
The sad reality is, I spent most of this holiday season feeling shafted, annoyed, and disappointed. I know that is not how it is supposed to be. After feeling like that when the day actually rolled around, I was no longer upset about it, I just didn't care anymore. I had already given our daughter all of her gifts. Everything was done, all that was left was for me to go to work, and by that time, I went and it was like any other day, in fact, I even quite enjoyed working that day because everyone I worked with was extra special nice, and we all brought in little goodies to share so it was good.
The really ironic thing was, I got into it with my manager the day before Christmas Eve because they extended my schedule, and I went into her office and said, "Hey, I'm working Christmas Eve, and day, I don't think it is fair to extend my time here even more than that, isn't there any other way to do this?" We actually had plans to meet people for dinner right after I got off work, so I was a bit put out. Well, she snapped back at me, and we didn't have a pleasant exchange. I am usually not so outspoken with management, but I was really feeling emotional about it all. Later that night I felt bad for approaching her that way, and decided I would apologize.
The next day I went to her office and said, "I am really sorry for snapping at you, it is just this time of year, and working the holidays, and honestly, if you had just asked and said, "We really need you to do this for us," and shown some empathy about it, I would not have been so upset. She apologized for coming across as cold, and admitted to me that she has developed a tough skin because she has to hear it all the time about people working on the holidays, and that she wanted to be home with her family too. We had a good talk about it all, and I realized I was being a big baby about it all. I admitted that I had not really put myself in her shoes, and was only thinking of myself, and suddenly after that, I felt so much better about working that day.
It turns out business was going to be slower than projected on Christmas day, so on Christmas eve she said she was going to take volunteers of people to work on Christmas day first, and then she would decide who would get to be off out of who didn't volunteer to work. Believe it or not, after all of my fussing, and complaining, I went ahead and volunteered to work afterall. I realized that I didn't have any plans on Christmas day anyway because we had already given our daughter her gifts, and we would most likely just go over to my parent's house and eat when I got off work as originally planned.
And you know, I felt strangely good about doing that. One of my co-workers is a single mom with two children under 4, and she really wanted to be home with them, she was so excited that she was going to be off afterall, she said she wasn't going to tell anyone, but just surprise them when she didn't go to work. There were others who I am sure were extremely grateful that they got that call on Christmas Eve telling them they were off the next day.
So, all in all, it worked out fine. We ate with my parents when I got off, and it was a good day, and I think I have finally overcome that hurdle of resentment about working the holidays, which is a good thing because it is part of my job, and I have to accept it. Christmas is a happy and joyous time, that's what it should be about. I think it is hard for some people to put on a happy face and act festive when they don't truly feel that, and there are many reasons they might not. I've been a grinch the past few years because I couldn't do things my way, but I am hoping I have truly let all of that go. I know how to do it now I think.
Anyway, hope you had a good one, and had many reasons to be Merry. Let's all have a Happy New Year, huh?
I'm Still Here
Just Getting By.
I know, I am always apologizing for not blogging regularly. With Christmas and all, I have just not been in the mood to blog. I checked my email today and found that I had a drive-by comment from some major weirdo, so I had to go an delete it, it was quite nasty, and gross. Damn you Google. Please stop sending these strange people here. I wish there was a way to keep from getting referrals from random internet searches, without having to make my blog completely private, although the thought has crossed my mind.
I really don't care about traffic, and I don't get much anyway, but the fact that the very few I do get are still peppered with oddballs is quite disturbing really. The only way I can avoid that is to close up shop and move on which I have considered doing, but for some reason whenever I suggest this my friends and family members say, "Oh don't do that, we love your blog" which is quite funny really because they NEVER read it. I know this because I will ask them, did you see that picture I posted, or something, and they always say "no'' which makes me think, why the heck are they encouraging me when they don't visit it anyway?
In turn, I have to ask the question of myself, why do this at all? I don't know why either, and I am certainly not in the mood to get all profound about such nonsense anyway. There is one thing though I find peculiar and that is, I don't talk about anything that really matters most of the time because it is too personal, or would be a betrayal of someone else's privacy, so most of what is put down here is nothing more than fluff. It does seem sort of like a silly way to spend my free time when I get right down to it, but I guess I still enjoy this medium, so I will continue with it for the time being.
Well, I took down one of the posts that seems to get the most hits from weirdos, so hopefully that will help. Hey, I've still got a lot of holiday baking to do, I never got a chance to make Cherry Nut Bread, Pizzelles, or some of the other things I had planned, and I really wanted to do that. I bought all of the stuff, so now I have no choice, I have got to use the stuff or it will sit in my cabinets until next Christmas.
The bananas are finally ripe enough to make Banana Nut Bread, I made some yesterday, the recipe said it would make one loaf, well I followed that and made one huge loaf that rose a good inch out of the pan, and I was very disappointed to find that the middle of the thing did not cook at all, but the outside was very well done, so I don't know. I am going to try again today, but use two loaf pans instead of one. I think that will bring better results. We shall see.
In any event, I am still here, and I hope you are too. Hugs.
I know, I am always apologizing for not blogging regularly. With Christmas and all, I have just not been in the mood to blog. I checked my email today and found that I had a drive-by comment from some major weirdo, so I had to go an delete it, it was quite nasty, and gross. Damn you Google. Please stop sending these strange people here. I wish there was a way to keep from getting referrals from random internet searches, without having to make my blog completely private, although the thought has crossed my mind.
I really don't care about traffic, and I don't get much anyway, but the fact that the very few I do get are still peppered with oddballs is quite disturbing really. The only way I can avoid that is to close up shop and move on which I have considered doing, but for some reason whenever I suggest this my friends and family members say, "Oh don't do that, we love your blog" which is quite funny really because they NEVER read it. I know this because I will ask them, did you see that picture I posted, or something, and they always say "no'' which makes me think, why the heck are they encouraging me when they don't visit it anyway?
In turn, I have to ask the question of myself, why do this at all? I don't know why either, and I am certainly not in the mood to get all profound about such nonsense anyway. There is one thing though I find peculiar and that is, I don't talk about anything that really matters most of the time because it is too personal, or would be a betrayal of someone else's privacy, so most of what is put down here is nothing more than fluff. It does seem sort of like a silly way to spend my free time when I get right down to it, but I guess I still enjoy this medium, so I will continue with it for the time being.
Well, I took down one of the posts that seems to get the most hits from weirdos, so hopefully that will help. Hey, I've still got a lot of holiday baking to do, I never got a chance to make Cherry Nut Bread, Pizzelles, or some of the other things I had planned, and I really wanted to do that. I bought all of the stuff, so now I have no choice, I have got to use the stuff or it will sit in my cabinets until next Christmas.
The bananas are finally ripe enough to make Banana Nut Bread, I made some yesterday, the recipe said it would make one loaf, well I followed that and made one huge loaf that rose a good inch out of the pan, and I was very disappointed to find that the middle of the thing did not cook at all, but the outside was very well done, so I don't know. I am going to try again today, but use two loaf pans instead of one. I think that will bring better results. We shall see.
In any event, I am still here, and I hope you are too. Hugs.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Miss Priss and The High Horse She Rode In On
You can bet your butt it wasn't a mini-van.
I don't think I have ever mentioned this before, but the reason I chose "that broad" as my handle, was because when I was growing up my sister always used to say, "Oh gosh, you're such a broad!" Well, I guess with all of my burping, farting, cussing and giggling she might think that. There was that time I went on an all fruit diet and discovered the joys of flatulence. Actually, it was my best friend and I, we both went on some fad diet where all you eat is fruit, and were overcome with superhuman amounts of gas. It was just too much. I remember walking up the stairs and stopping every other stair when one of us passed gas, and the laughing that ensued. Cut us some slack, we were 13 and therefore unable to resist laughing like hyenas at such noises.
Now, my sister on the other hand, she was and still is in many ways my complete opposite. When she was a little girl, our great aunt dubbed her "Prissy" because, well, she was, and always has been to some extent. She did not laugh at farts, and probably still doesn't. She never found the idea of someone accidentally letting one go with the shift of a leg hilarious, and frankly we firmly believed for quite some time that she didn't actually fart, EVER. Of course this myth was dispelled one night a few years ago at my mom's house when lo and behold Miss Priss let one rip at the kitchen table no less while we were playing cards one night, of course she didn't mean too, it was just all those years of holding it in, I'm sure.
My mom said what we were all thinking, "She hasn't done that since 8th grade!" and of course we all got to laughing, including Miss Priss, and that caused her to finally let loose a torrent of toots whistles and blows which made us all howl with laughter. You just have to know her. Now none of this means that Miss Priss doesn't have a sense of humor, she does, and she can get me to giggling like no one else can, and that is mostly because we share a mother, and therefore have many memories of the antics of our deviant mother.
I'm sure it is not nice to say ones mother is a deviant, and that might not be the exact word, but it is close. My mom might have the rest of the world fooled with all of her innocent pie baking, but we know better. Oh she's honest, upstanding, a good citizen, and absolutely one of the most generous people I've ever known, but there is a side to her that only we her family know, it is actually her strength, and an attitude she carries that has got her through some of the most dire circumstances. You just don't mess with her that's all I'm saying. She will jack a person up if they hurt one of hers. Anyway, it is hard to explain, and all I'm doing is making her sound like a psycho which is not the case at all, as I was saying, she's an absolutely kind person, a kind person who does whatever the hell she pleases.
The reason I brought all of this up is because I wanted to mention that my sister, Miss Priss has a blog. She finally got a blog. I waited a while to see if she put more than two posts up, and she has, so I will direct your attention there. She's a lot like me without all of the gaseous noises, and trucker talk. Check it out.
I don't think I have ever mentioned this before, but the reason I chose "that broad" as my handle, was because when I was growing up my sister always used to say, "Oh gosh, you're such a broad!" Well, I guess with all of my burping, farting, cussing and giggling she might think that. There was that time I went on an all fruit diet and discovered the joys of flatulence. Actually, it was my best friend and I, we both went on some fad diet where all you eat is fruit, and were overcome with superhuman amounts of gas. It was just too much. I remember walking up the stairs and stopping every other stair when one of us passed gas, and the laughing that ensued. Cut us some slack, we were 13 and therefore unable to resist laughing like hyenas at such noises.
Now, my sister on the other hand, she was and still is in many ways my complete opposite. When she was a little girl, our great aunt dubbed her "Prissy" because, well, she was, and always has been to some extent. She did not laugh at farts, and probably still doesn't. She never found the idea of someone accidentally letting one go with the shift of a leg hilarious, and frankly we firmly believed for quite some time that she didn't actually fart, EVER. Of course this myth was dispelled one night a few years ago at my mom's house when lo and behold Miss Priss let one rip at the kitchen table no less while we were playing cards one night, of course she didn't mean too, it was just all those years of holding it in, I'm sure.
My mom said what we were all thinking, "She hasn't done that since 8th grade!" and of course we all got to laughing, including Miss Priss, and that caused her to finally let loose a torrent of toots whistles and blows which made us all howl with laughter. You just have to know her. Now none of this means that Miss Priss doesn't have a sense of humor, she does, and she can get me to giggling like no one else can, and that is mostly because we share a mother, and therefore have many memories of the antics of our deviant mother.
I'm sure it is not nice to say ones mother is a deviant, and that might not be the exact word, but it is close. My mom might have the rest of the world fooled with all of her innocent pie baking, but we know better. Oh she's honest, upstanding, a good citizen, and absolutely one of the most generous people I've ever known, but there is a side to her that only we her family know, it is actually her strength, and an attitude she carries that has got her through some of the most dire circumstances. You just don't mess with her that's all I'm saying. She will jack a person up if they hurt one of hers. Anyway, it is hard to explain, and all I'm doing is making her sound like a psycho which is not the case at all, as I was saying, she's an absolutely kind person, a kind person who does whatever the hell she pleases.
The reason I brought all of this up is because I wanted to mention that my sister, Miss Priss has a blog. She finally got a blog. I waited a while to see if she put more than two posts up, and she has, so I will direct your attention there. She's a lot like me without all of the gaseous noises, and trucker talk. Check it out.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Beautiful Building
A few people might recognize this unmistakable monument that sits on ole Route 66. I'm thinking of you CG. From what I understand, this courthouse is made out of marble, obviously rough unfinished marble. The town used to revolve around this marble quarry, my grandfather and dad both hauled this marble all over the country. It is Carthage Marble, and they no longer quarry it I'm told, although there is still plenty there. My grandfather was a great lover of marble, and collected as many pieces as he could of all sorts of different marble from all over the world.
Good Stuff
Last Bits of Fall.
I love Fall in Missouri, although it is much better in person, I hoped to capture some of it's beauty with a $4 disposable camera. Not too shabby all things considered.
Good Things
Front Porch Sitting.
This is the front porch of what once was my great grandparent's house. Pretend garbage can is not in picture. :)
More Cheer
Spreading Joy.
I think I will try to spend the rest of December posting nothing but good things, and pictures that make me feel happy. Like this.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Who Needs A Little Cheer?
Me, That's Who.
I can't resist the desire to check the ole site meter thingy every so often and see who has been dropping by. This is how I know that what I am doing here has exactly zero impact on 99.9% of the population, but I love the 3 of you who do stop by regularly, and it is because of you I continue to hurl obnoxious thoughts with random regularity. I'm pretty sure I just made an English teacher somewhere out there cry with that last sentence, but it did seem clever when I wrote it.
Anyway, so lately I've been getting more hits which is to say in the overall scheme of things, two more than the usual drive by visitors I get thanks to google. Google, please stop pointing out my pointless points to total strangers on the internet. Why do you send them here? If I wanted everyone to know my business I would get a website and put it all on the internet, oh wait, I've done that. Well, I didn't really want icky strangers to read my stuff all right, at least not ones who do searches on seeing their mother's thong when she bent over to clean up a spill on the kitchen floor. Ok? Stop sending the freaks and weirdos here. I mean it.
With that said, I think this is the perfect opportunity to talk about referrals. I've been getting some good ones lately:
1. "Black yard boy statue"--I don't have one.
2. "Extremely bushy women"--ok, I'm somewhat insulted by this, and I promise as soon as they perfect that laser I'm going to take care of the leg hair problem, sheesh.
3. "A Christmas gift for people who love to nap"--personally, I like this one, I'm all about napping, and I think a great gift would be silence, without judgement. Nappers are NOT lazy, we just LIKE to sleep, that's all.
4. "Clock is ticking, want a baby"--this is not really something to make fun of, I understand this. Luckily I had one child, but if that is not possible, I highly suggest a puppy.
5. "Pot of chili, left out over night"--Oh my gosh, I can't believe someone else did that. I don't recommend eating it.
6. "Two fat ladies cooking"--Ok, you can call me fat, but my friend does not appreciate it.
7. "My husband got pepper in his eyes"--Hey, so did mine!
8. "Things to do in a snowstorm"--multiple searches on this one, my favorite thing to do is bake and clean house, and take a nice long nap.
9. "Pee on a Christmas tree"--it makes me wonder, is someone contemplating this, or have they already done it.
10. And there is, "Dog pee on the Christmas tree"--dogs do like to pee on trees, it is only natural.
11. "Cats taking underwear"--I think we could make a whole 'nother blog on this subject.
12. "Bikini tattoos for women"--I don't know.
There's more, but I don't want to bore you. This time there was no real weird stuff, which I'm always glad about.
I can't resist the desire to check the ole site meter thingy every so often and see who has been dropping by. This is how I know that what I am doing here has exactly zero impact on 99.9% of the population, but I love the 3 of you who do stop by regularly, and it is because of you I continue to hurl obnoxious thoughts with random regularity. I'm pretty sure I just made an English teacher somewhere out there cry with that last sentence, but it did seem clever when I wrote it.
Anyway, so lately I've been getting more hits which is to say in the overall scheme of things, two more than the usual drive by visitors I get thanks to google. Google, please stop pointing out my pointless points to total strangers on the internet. Why do you send them here? If I wanted everyone to know my business I would get a website and put it all on the internet, oh wait, I've done that. Well, I didn't really want icky strangers to read my stuff all right, at least not ones who do searches on seeing their mother's thong when she bent over to clean up a spill on the kitchen floor. Ok? Stop sending the freaks and weirdos here. I mean it.
With that said, I think this is the perfect opportunity to talk about referrals. I've been getting some good ones lately:
1. "Black yard boy statue"--I don't have one.
2. "Extremely bushy women"--ok, I'm somewhat insulted by this, and I promise as soon as they perfect that laser I'm going to take care of the leg hair problem, sheesh.
3. "A Christmas gift for people who love to nap"--personally, I like this one, I'm all about napping, and I think a great gift would be silence, without judgement. Nappers are NOT lazy, we just LIKE to sleep, that's all.
4. "Clock is ticking, want a baby"--this is not really something to make fun of, I understand this. Luckily I had one child, but if that is not possible, I highly suggest a puppy.
5. "Pot of chili, left out over night"--Oh my gosh, I can't believe someone else did that. I don't recommend eating it.
6. "Two fat ladies cooking"--Ok, you can call me fat, but my friend does not appreciate it.
7. "My husband got pepper in his eyes"--Hey, so did mine!
8. "Things to do in a snowstorm"--multiple searches on this one, my favorite thing to do is bake and clean house, and take a nice long nap.
9. "Pee on a Christmas tree"--it makes me wonder, is someone contemplating this, or have they already done it.
10. And there is, "Dog pee on the Christmas tree"--dogs do like to pee on trees, it is only natural.
11. "Cats taking underwear"--I think we could make a whole 'nother blog on this subject.
12. "Bikini tattoos for women"--I don't know.
There's more, but I don't want to bore you. This time there was no real weird stuff, which I'm always glad about.
Friday, November 30, 2007
I Don't Know
This has been hard lately.
Putting anything on this blog lately has been very difficult for me. It is not necessarily that I don't have anything to say, but that I just don't know what to say. A lot of things feel out of balance right now. Work has been slow, and I was off for two weeks when we went back to be with my uncle as he passed from this world to the next. I've had too much time off I think, and yet, I still feel like I've got so much to do at home I welcome the time off.
I just don't feel like I have a firm grip on anything right now. I am surrounded by piles of things to do, and I move at snail pace at accomplishing anything. It is just plain ridiculous. I made a wonderful pot of chili last night, I left it on the stove and was going to put it away, but I knew my daughter would want some, and sure enough I woke up this morning and realized I left it out overnight and had to throw the whole pot away.
I was mad at myself for wasting the food. It felt like I had wasted a blessing from God. We have been provided so many gifts, and to throw one away seems like an insult to the giver. The puritan in me said, "waste not, want not!" as I scooped the chili into the trash, and I was disappointed with myself. Anyway, I may be over thinking it a bit, but I did feel bad.
The vacuum cleaner finally broke. It just can't handle the amount of dirt that needs cleaned up in this house I guess. Actually, it was clogging up a lot, and my husband threw his hands up in the air the last time he tried to unclog it. The daughter and I went and bought a new one at the Wal-Mart last night. Hopefully it will last more than a year, although I am starting to suspect that these vacuums are designed not to go any longer than that. I've had to buy a new vacuum every year for the last few years now, it is a trend I cannot ignore. My floors aren't that bad.
My parent's had their vacuum that they bought at Sears for at least 25 years, they may still use it for all I know. My parents get things fixed, they don't replace them, but in this case it is just cheaper to go get a new vacuum. I hate to say that, but it is true. If anyone knows of a model that lasts longer and is worth repairing I will happily invest in it. I've tried all brands, Eureka, Dirt Devil, Hoover, each seems to have about the same life in it. I can't tell any real difference in any of them.
Anyway, I'm going on and on, and my mom called this morning and wanted me to take her someplace, this is code for me getting to her house and her deciding that she doesn't want to go, and I will go for her which I don't mind really. We've all run so many errands for her, she just hands over her debit card and we go.
Oh and she really stunned me the other day, she called me up and said, "Will you go to the store and buy me a cake?" She went on to say, "I have pie, but it is DAD who really likes the pie, I prefer cake and I really just want a piece of cake!" I was crushed. I said, "Mom, do you realize that I have devoted entire sections of my blog to your love of pie, and here I find out that it is DAD who really likes pie?" All of those shopping trips to 3 different grocery stores buying 12 different kinds of pie because I thought SHE loved pie, and it turns out my dad is the real culprit in the pie department. It doesn't really change anything, but still I was surprised.
Today she wants me to go have something framed for my dad, I better get a move on.
Putting anything on this blog lately has been very difficult for me. It is not necessarily that I don't have anything to say, but that I just don't know what to say. A lot of things feel out of balance right now. Work has been slow, and I was off for two weeks when we went back to be with my uncle as he passed from this world to the next. I've had too much time off I think, and yet, I still feel like I've got so much to do at home I welcome the time off.
I just don't feel like I have a firm grip on anything right now. I am surrounded by piles of things to do, and I move at snail pace at accomplishing anything. It is just plain ridiculous. I made a wonderful pot of chili last night, I left it on the stove and was going to put it away, but I knew my daughter would want some, and sure enough I woke up this morning and realized I left it out overnight and had to throw the whole pot away.
I was mad at myself for wasting the food. It felt like I had wasted a blessing from God. We have been provided so many gifts, and to throw one away seems like an insult to the giver. The puritan in me said, "waste not, want not!" as I scooped the chili into the trash, and I was disappointed with myself. Anyway, I may be over thinking it a bit, but I did feel bad.
The vacuum cleaner finally broke. It just can't handle the amount of dirt that needs cleaned up in this house I guess. Actually, it was clogging up a lot, and my husband threw his hands up in the air the last time he tried to unclog it. The daughter and I went and bought a new one at the Wal-Mart last night. Hopefully it will last more than a year, although I am starting to suspect that these vacuums are designed not to go any longer than that. I've had to buy a new vacuum every year for the last few years now, it is a trend I cannot ignore. My floors aren't that bad.
My parent's had their vacuum that they bought at Sears for at least 25 years, they may still use it for all I know. My parents get things fixed, they don't replace them, but in this case it is just cheaper to go get a new vacuum. I hate to say that, but it is true. If anyone knows of a model that lasts longer and is worth repairing I will happily invest in it. I've tried all brands, Eureka, Dirt Devil, Hoover, each seems to have about the same life in it. I can't tell any real difference in any of them.
Anyway, I'm going on and on, and my mom called this morning and wanted me to take her someplace, this is code for me getting to her house and her deciding that she doesn't want to go, and I will go for her which I don't mind really. We've all run so many errands for her, she just hands over her debit card and we go.
Oh and she really stunned me the other day, she called me up and said, "Will you go to the store and buy me a cake?" She went on to say, "I have pie, but it is DAD who really likes the pie, I prefer cake and I really just want a piece of cake!" I was crushed. I said, "Mom, do you realize that I have devoted entire sections of my blog to your love of pie, and here I find out that it is DAD who really likes pie?" All of those shopping trips to 3 different grocery stores buying 12 different kinds of pie because I thought SHE loved pie, and it turns out my dad is the real culprit in the pie department. It doesn't really change anything, but still I was surprised.
Today she wants me to go have something framed for my dad, I better get a move on.
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