Who Needs A Little Cheer?

Me, That's Who.

I can't resist the desire to check the ole site meter thingy every so often and see who has been dropping by. This is how I know that what I am doing here has exactly zero impact on 99.9% of the population, but I love the 3 of you who do stop by regularly, and it is because of you I continue to hurl obnoxious thoughts with random regularity. I'm pretty sure I just made an English teacher somewhere out there cry with that last sentence, but it did seem clever when I wrote it.

Anyway, so lately I've been getting more hits which is to say in the overall scheme of things, two more than the usual drive by visitors I get thanks to google. Google, please stop pointing out my pointless points to total strangers on the internet. Why do you send them here? If I wanted everyone to know my business I would get a website and put it all on the internet, oh wait, I've done that. Well, I didn't really want icky strangers to read my stuff all right, at least not ones who do searches on seeing their mother's thong when she bent over to clean up a spill on the kitchen floor. Ok? Stop sending the freaks and weirdos here. I mean it.

With that said, I think this is the perfect opportunity to talk about referrals. I've been getting some good ones lately:

1. "Black yard boy statue"--I don't have one.

2. "Extremely bushy women"--ok, I'm somewhat insulted by this, and I promise as soon as they perfect that laser I'm going to take care of the leg hair problem, sheesh.

3. "A Christmas gift for people who love to nap"--personally, I like this one, I'm all about napping, and I think a great gift would be silence, without judgement. Nappers are NOT lazy, we just LIKE to sleep, that's all.

4. "Clock is ticking, want a baby"--this is not really something to make fun of, I understand this. Luckily I had one child, but if that is not possible, I highly suggest a puppy.

5. "Pot of chili, left out over night"--Oh my gosh, I can't believe someone else did that. I don't recommend eating it.

6. "Two fat ladies cooking"--Ok, you can call me fat, but my friend does not appreciate it.

7. "My husband got pepper in his eyes"--Hey, so did mine!

8. "Things to do in a snowstorm"--multiple searches on this one, my favorite thing to do is bake and clean house, and take a nice long nap.

9. "Pee on a Christmas tree"--it makes me wonder, is someone contemplating this, or have they already done it.

10. And there is, "Dog pee on the Christmas tree"--dogs do like to pee on trees, it is only natural.

11. "Cats taking underwear"--I think we could make a whole 'nother blog on this subject.

12. "Bikini tattoos for women"--I don't know.

There's more, but I don't want to bore you. This time there was no real weird stuff, which I'm always glad about.