I Don't Know

This has been hard lately.

Putting anything on this blog lately has been very difficult for me. It is not necessarily that I don't have anything to say, but that I just don't know what to say. A lot of things feel out of balance right now. Work has been slow, and I was off for two weeks when we went back to be with my uncle as he passed from this world to the next. I've had too much time off I think, and yet, I still feel like I've got so much to do at home I welcome the time off.

I just don't feel like I have a firm grip on anything right now. I am surrounded by piles of things to do, and I move at snail pace at accomplishing anything. It is just plain ridiculous. I made a wonderful pot of chili last night, I left it on the stove and was going to put it away, but I knew my daughter would want some, and sure enough I woke up this morning and realized I left it out overnight and had to throw the whole pot away.

I was mad at myself for wasting the food. It felt like I had wasted a blessing from God. We have been provided so many gifts, and to throw one away seems like an insult to the giver. The puritan in me said, "waste not, want not!" as I scooped the chili into the trash, and I was disappointed with myself. Anyway, I may be over thinking it a bit, but I did feel bad.

The vacuum cleaner finally broke. It just can't handle the amount of dirt that needs cleaned up in this house I guess. Actually, it was clogging up a lot, and my husband threw his hands up in the air the last time he tried to unclog it. The daughter and I went and bought a new one at the Wal-Mart last night. Hopefully it will last more than a year, although I am starting to suspect that these vacuums are designed not to go any longer than that. I've had to buy a new vacuum every year for the last few years now, it is a trend I cannot ignore. My floors aren't that bad.

My parent's had their vacuum that they bought at Sears for at least 25 years, they may still use it for all I know. My parents get things fixed, they don't replace them, but in this case it is just cheaper to go get a new vacuum. I hate to say that, but it is true. If anyone knows of a model that lasts longer and is worth repairing I will happily invest in it. I've tried all brands, Eureka, Dirt Devil, Hoover, each seems to have about the same life in it. I can't tell any real difference in any of them.

Anyway, I'm going on and on, and my mom called this morning and wanted me to take her someplace, this is code for me getting to her house and her deciding that she doesn't want to go, and I will go for her which I don't mind really. We've all run so many errands for her, she just hands over her debit card and we go.

Oh and she really stunned me the other day, she called me up and said, "Will you go to the store and buy me a cake?" She went on to say, "I have pie, but it is DAD who really likes the pie, I prefer cake and I really just want a piece of cake!" I was crushed. I said, "Mom, do you realize that I have devoted entire sections of my blog to your love of pie, and here I find out that it is DAD who really likes pie?" All of those shopping trips to 3 different grocery stores buying 12 different kinds of pie because I thought SHE loved pie, and it turns out my dad is the real culprit in the pie department. It doesn't really change anything, but still I was surprised.

Today she wants me to go have something framed for my dad, I better get a move on.