Death And Taxes

Taxed in the Grave.

There were two homes, my grandparent's home which my father was born and raised in, and the house across the street that was my great parent's home. When the last of the great grandparent's passed away in 1974, my uncle ended up living in that house, it became his. I don't know the circumstances as to how that happened, but it was his, and no one had any beef with that. He may have bought it from my grandparents, I don't know, it is not really important.

My grandfather died in 1983, and my grandmother continued living in their home until her death in 1998, at that time, the house went to 3 of the 4 children. My dad did not want to be included in that as we live in a different state, and other reasons that aren't all that important. So, my uncle took out a mortgage, and bought the other two siblings out of the house. Truth be told they didn't want the house, they wanted the money, it was a win win for the most part.

So, my uncle had his house which was my great grandparent's home, and he also owned the house across the street which was my grandparent's home. He felt they were family homes, and did not want to let them go. In many ways he became a prisoner of those two homes. Both homes were very old, over 100 years old, and with that they needed some repairs although, overall both are in very good condition.

He put a lot of money in his home, and did many major upgrades and repairs. Grandmother's home was empty a lot of the time. He couldn't bear to let anyone other than family live in that home. He did let one of my cousins light there for a while, and my husband, daughter and I even lived in that house when he left the Marine Corps, we paid a very modest rent, which covered the mortgage he had to take out on it to buy the other two out. I got homesick for mom and dad, and we decided to move closer to parents.

Then grandmother's house was empty again. No one was there to enjoy the beautiful woodwork, the mahogany stair case, and all of the other great features old homes like that have to offer. It still sits empty.

When my uncle learned he was dying, he wanted to marry his lovely lady, and leave her his estate. He was going to leave the homes to my dad, but my dad did not want them. He has no intention of moving back there, and agreed that he should leave these things to his wife. Which is what my uncle decided to do.

He had an iron clad will, and had plans to add her to all titles etc. but he ran out of time. The doctors thought he might have 9 months to a year and a half, it turns out he died 2 months after they gave him this timeline. He got very ill towards the end and didn't get all of those things done. When he left us for a better world, we have only his will, and their marriage to support his wishes.

For most decent people that would be enough, but unfortunately, his estate is going to go to probate. I don't know what that is, other than an opportunity for thieves to rape and pillage his estate down to next to nothing. Which is what is going to happen. The attorney has already suggested that his wife will have to sell my grandmother's home to pay the probate and lawyer's fees. It will cost that much. The state takes a percentage of the estate, and the lawyer matches it.

That is the best case scenario, the worst case scenario is his widow may have to sell both properties to pay the costs. It all depends on how much our glorious rulers think is enough. All this so that some newspaper ads can be run to see who else wants a piece of the action. Never mind the fact that his widow could have assumed his debts, if any, and paid them with whatever he left. No, that's too darn simple.

I am astounded, and I had no idea this would happen. It is such a shame, and a sham. My dad said to me, "You know, I'd have more respect for a thief that sticks a gun in my face and robs me than this."

Even if my uncle had been able to get his new wife's name on everything, the state is not satisfied with that, they like to take a look back over the last couple of years to see if people have tried to unload anything that they might have been able to take. Their situation of being newly married complicated things, but the state still would have came barging in.

This is a very serious lesson, one that no one should learn while in the process of grieving the loss of a loved one. The state is hard enough to take on, let alone when in such a fragile state. It is disgusting. There are less and less ways around these death taxes.

It is a shame to work your whole life for something only to have it taken away and sold off for profit by greedy people. Let this be a lesson to you. Don't wait until you are ill to talk about these things, and work on them. Somehow my grandmother avoided probate because she had put her children's names on the title of everything. That is about the only loophole left, but you can't do it a year before you die as the state looks back. These are things an attorney should be able to get through, and prevent happening, but even still they have motive to let you fall into that probate trap as well.

I tell you, we're going to have to go back to hiding things in our mattresses. Something to think about.

Time Crunch

Loose Ends.


We lost my uncle last Saturday, he was my dad's youngest brother, and really the last of any family we have outside of our clan. He was 54 years old, a Captain with his police department, and an all around great guy. He had met a nice woman a few years ago, and was finally able to love again after having gone through a trainwreck of a divorce and marriage. She was his perfect match, and I could tell they had become extremely close, close on that level that we often refer to as "soulmates".

He had a rare form of cancer, which was a particularly vicious cancer of the liver. Chemo and radiation did nothing to spite this cancer, and as his time neared the end he fought hard. He suffered, and was in terrible agony. His new wife, my dad and I were there. Dad and I were the only ones who could get away, but the rest of our family would have been there if at all possible. My mom virtually sat and cried at home at her kitchen table for a week and a half because she wanted to be there for him, but she couldn't. Her own health would not permit such a trip.

My uncle was a dedicated planner. Being a police officer for over 30 years, he had a way of seeing and planning for every possible contingency and always tried to have all of his ducks in a row. Unfortunately in this case, time was not on his side. He left some loose ends behind, but he tried everything he could to get it all right. He had spent the last several years working hard to get right with God, and that relationship gave him a great deal of comfort at the end. He was a very private person and I'm not even sure he would have liked all of the attention his passing was given, but he would have gave a most sheepish grin, and accepted it most likely. He never wanted to offend anyone.

We found many people cared very deeply for him, and they were overwhelmingly supportive and sympathetic. His passing and funeral made the evening news. I had no idea so many people knew him in so many ways. The community came out and offered a great deal of respect towards the man that I knew as a humble person. It was surreal in so many ways, and I don't use that word lightly. He was a special person, a complicated man, a storyteller, and a person with a great sense of humor. I will miss those things about him the most.

Many lessons were learned here. Take care of those loose ends. Just love each other.