Today.
I don't want to do anything. I'm in a dark room, and all I want to do is find something to make me feel better. I know it's just one of those things, a lot of people feel down in the dumps sometimes. Sometimes this type of feeling lasts for a few days, usually not more than that.
I can't shake it today. I'm feeling bad and worrying about my daughter. Of all the things I imagined parenthood to bring, I never thought learning problems would be an issue. The thought never crossed my mind. I worried about all the normal things, would the baby be healthy, would we be good parents, and how we could avoid raising a total degenerate.
Never did I think of, or plan for learning problems. Who does really? Well, she has trouble with learning, she has a hard time in school. School has never been good for her, it's been dreadful to her most of the time. I remember last year she begged me to take her out of her school, she told me, "The other kids are getting smarter, but I'm not!" It truly broke my heart to hear her say such a thing. I said, "You are getting smarter, you are just not like everyone else, and learning is not as easy for you." It is true, it is not easy for her. I encouraged her to keep trying and working hard on it.
I have failed her. One of the expectations I held when I first cradled that little baby in my arm was that I could fix any problem she ever had. Sure it was unrealistic, but it doesn't mean we don't try. I've never been able to fix this for her. I've never been much help to her because I truly do not know what to do to help her. I don't have the answers to this problem. I don't know which way to turn.
Today I'm in a dark room.
I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter's problems.
ReplyDeleteSorry if this is obvious or busybody-ish, but here are some things to consider if you have not thought of them yet. Have you checked/had someone professional check her hearing and vision? Does she have reading problems? Have you noticed any difficulties with learning at home (i.e. does she do better studying/learning by herself)? Is she bored with the content of her classes? Would she do better if you held her back a year? Are friends or "friends" distracting her (does she need to be moved away from people she currently sits with)? Is she afraid of anyone in her classes? Do her teachers whom you trust, including those of past school years, have any opinions about her learning problems? Do her friends' mothers, your relatives, etc., anyone who has contact with her outside your sight, have any opinions that you would trust? Is she sleepy at school, i.e. is her body clock on "school time"?
Morenuancedthanyou
The answer to most of your questions is yes. Although friends at school do not seem to be a distraction. She has been held back one year already. She is not sleepy at school.
ReplyDeleteFriends and relatives of mine seem to think that she is going to be fine, although she may always struggle with learning, they seem to believe she has other abilities that will carry her through life. I tend to agree with that. I don't think that is just them trying to just be positive and make me feel better.
My parents who are both well educated and they realize the seriousness of her problems, they have little answers either.
I think the fact of the matter is this, she is just not going to follow the path that is laid out before her, she is just not going to do that. I see her taking the path and bending it to fit her needs. She's not one of those kids who learns everything given to her. She's going to take much longer to put it all together, and make sense out of things.
She can learn, just not at the same pace desired by everyone else.
Thank you for helping me think some of this through.