To Post Or Not To Post

Or Take A Nap?

And there is one more option, I could clean house, but we all know how I feel about that sort of thing. Then again, I do like a clean house even if mine never is. The kiddo went to visit relatives for a week, she has never really been away from home much, and she called me the first night, last night, bawling. She told me she missed me and she loved me, and wanted me to come get her. Of course, I can't really do that right now, so I calmly told her to get a grip, and take it one day at a time.

This may sound cruel, but I think we both needed this time apart. She is with me practically 24/7 and some days that is too much for both of us. She called me this morning and she is doing fine. She is much happier, and feeling better. I was not really worried, I knew she would be fine, and that they will take good care of her. She wanted to go, and was beyond excited when the opportunity came up. It is only for a week anyway. Anyway, she is all right now, and there is the added bonus that we both get to actually miss each other for a few days which any parent of a pre-teen knows is a good thing.

Now, I sit here with what feels like an enormous chunk of free time on my hands, and I practically don't know what to do with myself. Yesterday after she left, I thought, "So this is what it feels like not to have kids around." I felt totally free. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change having a kid for anything, but as we approach the empty nest, I couldn't help but envision a life where I am able to do pretty much whatever I want with my free time. It was sort of a selfish revelation, that some day I won't make all of my decisions based on having a child at home. It was a strange feeling, and so I went and took a two hour nap to ponder it.

When I got up, I didn't even think about dinner. I knew I could eat whatever was in the kitchen, and I would not hear any complaints about it. I ended up going to my mom's and eating a baked potato. I came home, and walked around my silent house, and didn't so much as glance at the t.v. It remained off. I blogged, and talked on the phone, and then read my book until my eyes were so heavy I couldn't stay awake another minute. I was going to clean, but then I thought, who cares? I picked up a few things, and pretty much left the rest.

I want to get the house all clean because it will be so nice to have a clean house all to myself, but I'm torn between walking around in silence, and actually doing something productive, and so I've been reading blogs all morning instead. This is great. I can deal with this for a week. I'll be glad for her to be home, but right now I just enjoying this quiet messy paradise. I should clean the house, but I will probably take a nap instead.