The Clock Is Ticking

These Eggs Aren't Getting Any Younger.

The puppy coming to live with us has brought out some strange feelings in me. I find myself treating the puppy like a baby, and well, he is a baby, just not of the human variety. I thought my sister was certifiable a few years ago when she told me she wanted to have a baby, and had even thought about going to a sperm bank. Not that wanting to have a baby makes one crazy, or that even going to a sperm bank does either, but that her daughter was 16 years old, and well, why start all over again, plus, I know some people wait to have children later in life, but I never really thought that was ideal for most people.

And so, upon the advice of a close and trusted confidante my sister went out and got a puppy instead. She said it completely took away her urge to have another baby. I thought she was sort of wacko at the time, especially since she got herself a boxer puppy. The puppy went on to slowly chew up an entire couch. She spent 40 hours a week working to bring home fresh chew toys, and he systematically destroyed as much furniture as possible in the process. Not exactly a win win if you ask me, but she is happy with the dog. Who am I to judge?

Well, I can somewhat understand that feeling now although I didn't need a couch eater to set me straight with my own biological time clock, but I do sort of have a strong nurturing feeling while cuddling my little poopy butt pup. He doesn't really have a poopy rear end, but I would totally put a diaper on him if he had that problem, that's how much I feel the need to take care of the baby. He is a baby, completely and totally, and something about that is so wonderful for me.

I told my husband the other day that he is the second child that I never got to have, and of course he looked at me like I was completely bonkers. I said, "You just don't understand, I just like to hold him and cuddle him, and love him because I never got to have that second baby, and now it is too late. And I'm okay with it, but one of us needs to take measures to make sure that we don't have any surprises that we weren't expecting." And then he agreed that I should do that.

I just looked at him because I knew he was yanking my chain, and I said, all right, I'll go get my tubes tied then, and he said, that he would go get his stuff done so I don't have to. I think he was dreading me showing him my c-section scar as a reminder of what I went through to have the one child we do have. It is a particularly hideous scar, not the horizontal kind, but the vertical kind which was out of date even when I had my c-section, but I guess my doctor was also out of date as well. I'm just glad I lived, I mean I did give birth in a military hospital afterall, I'm lucky to be alive even if I do bear a hideous scar. And of course my extremely compassionate Dr. said, "well, you aren't exactly the type to wear a bikini now are you?" Well, I certainly can't now even if I was, but I'm not any way, and really the scar has never bothered me all that much, except the first few years when it was very sensitive.

This puppy has confirmed a few things for us: my sister and I are kooks who think a puppy can fix the desire to have children--and we are right, I love baby talking the puppy, and my husband and I realized we don't really want any more children, and one of us is going to get fixed here real soon, and I've got a hideous scar that provides me a great deal of leverage in that decision, but I would just like to say here and now, I will do it if he decides the idea of getting snipped is too much for him. I know it is an easier procedure for men, but still, I hate the idea of him being in pain at all, but I'm sure some good drugs would be involved, so it probably won't be too bad.