Allow Me This

A Couple of Things. Some of them Might Be Gross, You Have Been Warned.

Kiddo is sick. Again. This time it is not the flu which I'm sure she had some odd week ago. My friend's son had this stomach bug last week, she called me up early one morning and asked if she could borrow my carpet shampooer, of course I said yes. It seems her son had a bout of projectile vomiting all over her carpet, walls and ceilings and the ornamental bushes outside her front door. She said, "I've never seen anything like it."

I woke up to that this morning, although not quite as bad, it wasn't projectile, and she did make it to the bathroom leaving only a small mess on the floor and the house plants managed to make it out unscathed. She's home from school today. Unlike some parents who send their little monsters, oops, I mean children, out sick to infect the whole world, I try not to further the spread of disease so carelessly. Besides, my kid's teacher quit, in the middle of the year, in the middle of the week, so they have a substitute anyway.

I asked my daughter who was teaching her class now, and she said, "the detention teacher" Apparently the name of this person is not important. Sometime this week I will be going in and meeting the new principal, who has replaced the old principal in the middle of the year, just a couple of weeks ago. To the children these things might just seem run of the mill, but I find it quite odd, and suspect there is something afoot in the administration of the school. People are leaving left and right, abandoning ship mid course so to speak. Have got to try and squeeze some information out of someone at that school.

I've realized there is a point in which my house crosses a threshold from being "lived in" to "not fit for pigs" Before I started my stint of working this weekend, the house was at lived in status, with some rooms even fit for unexpected guests, laundry was even mostly done. As the busy weekend at work waned, the house reached the climactic, "Oh my gosh, I think a bomb went off in here somewhere, but I can't tell where," look.

It is my fault I suppose. I shouldn't have been so lazy yesterday morning. I knew the trash was full, I took the bag out and sat it on the side of the can thinking I would grab it on my way out the door for work, but I forgot it because I have too many other things on my mind I suppose.

The little girl dog waited until no one was home to have a field day with the trash bag, spilling it's contents all over the kitchen, and eating who knows what out of it. It was bad, very bad. I know it was the little girl dog because the boy dog never digs in trash. He's more mature and doesn't give in to such behaviors. He's content with digging in the cat boxes anyway.

So, we had that to come home to. That single event took the house over the edge, and suddenly everything seemed out of place, and dirty. If that is not enough grossness for one day, the little girl dog then decided to eat a turd out of the toilet. Oh my gosh. It is enough to make me hurl. I blame the environmentalists for that.

Now look, we don't just leave things lying around in the toilet without flushing. What probably happened is the kiddo went, and then flushed and walked away assuming the contents were whisked away, but they weren't. Because everyone knows it takes 2-3 more flushes when one is the lucky owner of a low-flushing toilet, still kids in the middle of something might just flush once and run off. Now my dog has eaten a turd, and no one wants her around.

The question is how long will it be before she is not gross? Both of the furry beasts eat out of the cat boxes, the boy dog always comes up stairs all nonchalant like, "What? I didn't do nuffin'" And we know by the cat litter on the tip of his nose where he has been. Now we just say, "Guilty as charged." Because one time he came up, and I said, "For the crime of eating cat cookies, I find the defendant, Guilty as Charged." It was funny at the time, and it stuck.

I asked the vet if eating cat cookies was harmful to them, she said, as of yet, and she has been a vet for a good 25 years, she's never seen any ill effects related to it. She admitted that her own dog does partake in the occasional cat cookie, and he seems fine. I felt better at least other people's dogs do it too. It is still gross stuff though.

Now one might be asking, don't you feed your dogs? Of course, I keep the bowls full, but apparently dogs will eat gross things for their own sake, and not necessarily out of hunger, this is the only conclusion I can reach. That girl dog is particularly fond of gross things. I've had to adjust the way I dispose of other things as well, I won't mention them as I'm not trying to make people lose their lunch, suffice it to say it only happens about once a month. Things my boy dog never bothered with, she's happy to chew up.

I worry the little girl dog is going to get sick from the nasty stuff she ate yesterday. We will all be watching her closely.

All right, I need to clean today, and take a huge bite out of some hefty reading, and note taking. In other words, I'll be reading blogs all morning, and doing pretty much nothing. Have a good one.