Welcome To Our Town

You DO Feel Welcome Don't You?

Yes, Yes, Yes, I remember the times my mother would take us back to visit relatives, and in our yearly drive across Kansas we had two responsibilities, 1. Watch for cops 2. Look out for cops. That's when mom demonstrated what a deviant she really is. She got that 1976 Olds 98 up to a nice cruising speed of 90 m.p.h. and we watched for the fuzz. Mom taught us how to speed, and how not to get caught.

The first rule is, when speeding, always, always, slow down to the speed limit when passing through little podunk towns. Cops love to hang out at the entrance to town and give out of towners tickets. This isn't news to anyone is it? Second, always do the speed limit by and around rest areas. Duh! Thirdly, if the trucks are all slowing down to speed limit, then by golly follow their lead. They do have communication devices on board. Now these are just some general guidelines to follow. I don't speed at all so I don't really need to use these rules, and I most certainly don't condone speeding. My mom was just always a rebel that's all, times have changed, and they don't make cars like they used to either.

Now, you'll never believe what the officials in our great city have done here, and to be honest I think it is just down right tacky, pushy, and threatening as well. You know those signs they have now that can give messages like, "I-5 closed ahead" and so on? Well, the one we have here flashes, "Under Arrest!" "Over the Limit!" I mean really. I almost crapped my pants when I came speeding into town today and saw a sign that said, "Under Arrest, Over the limit!"
At first I didn't know what to make of it. I thought it was saying that I was over the speed limit, and that I was going to be arrested, which in fact I was not, but I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to slow down just in case.

Then I realized what it was, it was just nothing more then the everyday harrassment we endure from the local government. My God, now they have freakin' message boards harrassing us stupid criminals. Somebody is getting too darn big for the britches if you ask me. This is just too much. This is way worse than the little podunk town cops getting a few speeders, this is blatant harrassment. Under Arrest my ass. Kiss it.

How about a "Welcome to Our Town!" "Hope you enjoy your stay." Spend some money. See the sights. Stay a while, then leave please. Don't move here, especially if you are a meat hating granola eating cud chewer with too much money on your hands.