Have You Heard of the Freegans?

Eat A Bagel.

Recently my friend told me of the freegans, I admit I laughed my ass off when she did. I thought I knew some kooky people, but this is too much. Apparently she read in the newspaper a story of people who live solely off of the things that society throws away, for example, they hang around outside bagel shops and get free food when the bagels are thrown out, etc. Now everywhere we go it's "move it you friggin freegan," this, and "look at this frickin' freegan" that.

I remember as a small child the first time we came to this town on vacation just a year or so before we moved here, we stayed in a little cabin on the west side of town right near the mountain, and I almost embarrassed my parents to death and even risked them being attacked by hippies when I spotted one peeing in the middle of the street and screamed, "Mom! Look! A Hippy is peeing in the street!" It was from that moment on that I held a distrust for hippies, and have viewed them as sort of dirty and strange ever since.

Admittedly these freegans sound much the same to me. I don't trust people who eat other people's garbage. Call me snotty, but it's really only acceptable when one is doing it out of necessity, and with church pantries, and many other such food banks and soup kitchens available, well one must really be in a bad place to rummage through a dumpster for food.

And another thing, I don't trust people who think rubbing certain rocks on their pits is really going to keep them from stinking, but I've actually met people who think that it works. While I'm at it, I'm so freaking over Vegans. Go stuff a turkey with yourself you snotty assholes. I'm not giving up meat. Ever. Shut up about it, and how you "are a vegan for the "right" reasons, unlike those people who do it for religious reasons." Give me a break okay. These are the same people who think nothing of yanking a developing baby from the womb.

Okay, I admit, I am a bit of a freegan in that if I see a nice item on the side of the road with a sign that says, "FREE" on it, I will stop and give it a look see, and maybe even call my husband to come and help me load it up. I got a really nice desk that way, but I draw the line at eating garbage. That's just the thing it's not that it's so wrong to make use of stuff going to the trash, that I can actually respect in a way. It's just that people who usually spend their time doing so are the type to make a habit of rubbing rocks on their pits in lieu of deodorant as well.