What Part of Bug off Do You Not Understand

Tired.

People, I'm tired of it. T.I.R.E.D. The last few days it seems like everywhere I go there are people waiting around just to bug me into getting involved in their pet causes, or buy something. Seriously, I can't walk in a store without getting "ma'am, would you like to sign our petitions?" or "ma'am can I talk to you for a minute?" or "ma'am, are you registered to vote?" Now, most of these people have been satisfied with a one or two word response, but not the boob lady. Oh no.

The boob lady was as determined to talk to me, as I was to get our pizza. I ordered the family a pizza, and when I went to pick it up low and behold boob ladies were staking out the frickin' entrance. As I pulled into the parking lot and saw them there in their pink shirts, I sighed to myself and thought, "oh great, what are they selling?"

Luckily, a hapless couple leaving the pizza place provided what I thought might be a nice diversion so that I could jot past them and get right in without being accosted. I glanced over before I started to make my bee line towards the door, and could see the older couple in the 60's slowly backing away from the boob lady that was so intent on their attention, but she kept talking. I jump out of the car and start walking briskly, not making eye contact, not making eye contact, oh my gosh, I might just make it, reaching for handle of door, going to make it, then, I hear, "Ma'am, Ma'am!" Busted.

I look over and see boob lady staring right at me, "Ma'am" she says again, "Can I talk to you?"

"No thank you." I reply. Which in a civilized world should be enough. Shouldn't it? "Oh ma'am, we're not selling anything."

"No thank you." I say again much more firmly.

Then I open the door and duck inside. I could feel the hate. I get to the counter and find that our pizza is not quite ready so I take a seat, and sit around nervously thinking the boob lady might just persist enough to come inside to talk with me about whatever it is she's not selling. I notice on the counter there is a big plastic bin that says something like "walk for breast cancer" or something. I know the boob ladies have been here. I had surmised from their signs outside they were doing something to a) raise funds for breast cancer or b) recruiting people for their walk i.e. raising funds for breast cancer.

It doesn't matter, I was not particularly interested in knowing. I just wanted to pick up my pizza, and not be bothered. Which I did, and then took a deep sigh and opened the door to head to my car, luckily another woman was walking up right when I headed out, and I heard, "Ma'am, can I talk to you for a minute." Whew, off the hook.

I imagine the boob ladies thought I was uncaring for not stopping to discuss breast cancer with them, but sometimes I just don't want to talk to strangers. I'm sure they have good intentions, but that doesn't mean I'm obligated to get involved.

It's not just the boob ladies though. Yesterday afternoon when I was leaving Wal-Mart, there were people outside gathering signatures for about 5 different petitions. The guy told me briefly about each one, and after he was done I said, "Hmm, I don't think I want to sign off on those." and walked away.

Oh, but I'm not done. We have out of town visitors coming, so we spent most of the day tidying up the house. Ha, that sounds to simple, in actuality, we spent the whole day sweating our asses off cleaning up this pig stye. After scrubbing the toilets, the kitchen floor, vaccuming, and generally busting butt all day, I went out on the front porch to have a smoke and cool off. I sat and watched as two young men on bikes wearing identical uniforms of black pants and white button up shirts park their bikes and chain them to the street sign in the corner of my yard.

"Mormons" I thought to myself, and of course, I was right. "Hmm, guess they won't bother me after seeing me out here smoking." Phone rang, I went back in, and the Mormon kids started up my street. Some time later the door bell rings, I'm gathering laundry. I hear my husband say, "who the heck is that?" I yell back from the laundry room, "Oh it's Mormons, don't worry, I'll go answer it."

I run to the front door with laundry basket in tow, "Hello ma'am, how are you today?" The nice kid asks. "I'm fine, but we already have a church" the mean fat lady with little patience replied. (that would be me by the way) "Oh ma'am, we just want to talk with you about getting closer to Jesus" and then I give it, my pat response, "No, thank you" and I walk away from the door. Leaving them looking sorta disappointed.

Geez Louise, yes, I am actually a person who uses this term on a regular basis, that's not all though. Last night about oh, 7:30pm ish, some young fresh faced kid comes to the door, all I'm thinking is that I want to put a sign on my door that says, "Lay off my door bell." I go to the door, kid starts in on his speel about my roof, and all the hail damage from all the storms we've had lately, I'm thinking, "Umm, you've got to be kidding me".

We've barely had a drop of rain in months, let alone hail for goodness sakes, I want to blurt out, "Yeah, I think you're about a 1000 miles away from the actual places getting a lot of hail storms lately" but I don't, I just cut him off and say, "You know, I think it would be better for you to talk to my husband about this roof stuff, I'm a lady and don't even know what a roof or a tool is." Well, that last part I didn't say, but I assume it was implied. Hubby dealt with that one.

But all this left me thinking, when is enough enough. It's simple, you approach me, and if I feel like selling you my time, or interest, I will, if I say, "no thank you" then kindly bug off. I'm not rude or hateful about it, but if you continue after the first time, I will say it much more firmly, and maybe even rudely. I don't owe you my time, I don't owe you anything.

What I really hate are the people who send kids around selling stale candy bars for like $2.00 a piece, and they always have some line like, "I'm part of a program to keep me from becoming a thug and a thief, if you buy my candies, I basically will not come back 5 years from now and steal your hub caps, or your barbeque grill" I've actual seen these kids get dropped off in the neighborhood by this big burly man with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth driving some big passenger van with a hand painted sign on the side, I mean, by gosh, he looked like a criminal himself. They always tell you they are trying to earn money for a special trip or something, like going to an amusement park is going to keep them from a life of crime. You either become a criminal or you don't, I don't think Six Flags has much to do with it, and no I don't want any candy bars, sorry, and like most children when told no, they basically get to the "oh but please", and then skulk away if told no again.

Gosh I sound so mean, what a heartless bitch. But that's just the thing, that's what these folks want me to think. They want me to feel bad, and guilty, but I don't anymore. I just say "no thank you" and walk away.