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Complaining.

Today was my friday, ironically my friday changes on a week by week basis because my days off are never the same these days, but anyway, today was the end of my stretch, and it was a long day. I got off easy as my work load dropped off this morning, then picked up this afternoon, so while everyone else was running around like the proverbial chicken without a head, I was not busy at all, we work independently of each other, so it's not like I could do their work for them, next time I might be the chicken. I was all prepped and prepared then my schedule changed, and I had some free time.

It was nice actually, I think I needed it. The last few days with the kiddo being sick I've sort of worn down with worry, and tonight I finally realized that I'm not feeling all that well myself right about now, so I sort of dragged through the afternoon at work wishing I was everywhere else but there. I mentioned to one of my co-workers that I would be quite happy when today was over, and that I didn't really feel like being there today. It was a moment of honesty, and I generally don't say stuff like that at work. Usually I'm just fine, but today was rough.

He sort of laughed in my face and said, "oh gosh, you're barely even here as it is!" Which is actually not true, I do spend 4 out of 7 days a week there, which is one day less than he does. So, I shot back with, "well, you can go part time too if you want. Believe me, we've given up stuff as a result of it, but it's well worth it if you ask me, even without the benefits." To which he replied, "I don't have any benefits as a full-timer." Which actually is not true, he get's paid days, and medical insurance if he wishes, and there are a few other benefits like a bigger paycheck as well, but I didn't feel the need to spell all of that out to him.

So, I said, "well, my kid has problems that need my attention, so I went part time so I can be available more for her." Then he said, "well my dog has problems, maybe I should go part time for him." Hmm, I do think I'm being egged on. I reply, "don't compare my kid to your dog. I think you're just jealous that I have more time off."

Perhaps realizing how he was coming across, he apologized and said, "I'm sorry, you're right, I am jealous, I wish I could be here less." I said, "well, you have a nice house don't you?" He affirmed, "yes, it's over 4000 square feet." I said, "well the house we will probably buy will be less than half that size, and it won't be in as nice an area as where you live, these are the things we give up, although I don't think me working one more day a week would make that big of a difference at this point, at least we're happy."

He then went on to say that he made really good money before he took this job and that is why he and his wife were able to buy such a nice house, plus I would add that they don't have any children, especially not children that get sick, but shit, he's in his 40s I can't help him if he hasn't figured this all out already. He certainly could not afford that house on our pay now. Plus, he bought his house several years ago, when house prices were much cheaper. Whatever, I'm not bitching about his 4000 square foot house, obviously, he would rather have one more day off a week.

This is not the first time I've been on the receiving end of a full-timer's jealousy. It's not like I go around rubbing it in, last thing I want to do is draw attention to the fact that I only work 4 days a week. Honestly, it is so worth it to me. Yes, I lose a little money, but it's nominal really. The taxes took a good portion of it anyway. I'm happy with my choices.

In some people's eyes we might not have a lot of "things" to show for our work, but you can't measure time with a dollar amount. You just can't. You can't place a dollar sign on happiness. My hubby is only home every other week, our 3 days together we do more, and spend more time together than we ever did when he was working that horrible 9-5 grind. I love it, and I love my life. He seems so much happier now. He's really proud of what he's accomplished, and so am I. From now on my standard response will be: "What? Are you just jealous?"

I do feel the resentment seething under the surface sometimes. Sometimes it's from the single mom's, who make comments like, "well, I didn't have a husband to help me out..." Sometimes it's from this one guy who's wife works full-time, and he loves to say, "why can't you? My wife does it." Umm, I'm glad I didn't have to run my infant into the day care center everyday thank you very much, and I'm not freakin apologizing for it.

Heh, I'm still happy. So, whatever.